The Misleading Perception
by SoMuchLoveInALovelessWorld
Summary: Future fic, set two years after the Season Seven finale. Everything is perfect on the surface, but Sheldon quickly learns that appearances are deceiving.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note : This is a multi-chapter fic. It contains dark themes, language, smut and angst. And yes, it's a Shenny story. Thanks for reading!**

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any character associated with it, no copyright infringement is intended._

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_"__There's more to the picture than meets the eye." Neil Young, My My, Hey Hey_

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It amazes him how so many things have changed, but they still manage to have dinner together at least once a week. All of them. At the same apartment, in the same living room, with the same topics of conversation. Well, some subjects have been added: engagements, marriages, pregnancies, babies. But ultimately, they always end up discussing super-heroes, cancelled TV shows or science.

When Sheldon left Pasadena two years ago in order to reorganize his thoughts, he unsurprisingly went to his mother's house in Texas. He spent five weeks there, thirty-five elucidative days. He had long talks with his beloved Meemaw, babysat his nephew and ate the delicious meals his mom had made for him. Back at California, he was calmer, relaxed and more open to the changes he would have to endure. Leonard and Penny had decided to live at 4A together, and she even offered her place for him to stay a couple of days, but Amy explained to him that move in with her was the best option.

He agreed with his girlfriend and soon was living in her apartment. Life with Amy was wonderful; she was a patient and considerate roommate. In their free time, they watched documentaries, played games and made out. A lot. So, it wasn't a shock to anyone when after two months as roomies, she told Penny and Bernadette they had sex. The act was natural, good, pleasurable. It felt right, and if he was being honest to himself, he was curious about it for a considerable amount of time. Amy seemed pleased as well as her loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity filled his ears every time they had intercourse.

After seven months of wedding planning, Leonard and Penny got married at Castle Green Hotel in a small, but fancy ceremony. It was a memorable day, especially when Raj proposed to Emily in the middle of the dinner room. She said yes as everyone clapped and cheered while Amy looked into his eyes in way (of course) he would never forget. He just bent closer to her ear and whispered, "Soon." They smiled at each other, going to the dancing floor and slow danced to "My Funny Valentine".

And it did happened, not too soon, but four months ago, in the same day Bernadette and Howard announced their pregnancy. Raj cried and almost fainted, Penny and Leonard shared an odd look, Amy hugged Bernadette tightly and he stared at his friends in astonishment for a long time. He wasn't shocked by the news; it was predictable they would conceive a child someday, but at the same time, he was overwhelmed by the idea of growing up. They were adults now and things would never be the same again. That thought made him leave Leonard's apartment and wander through the streets of Pasadena for a couple of hours. Amy found him sat on a bench of a public park, playing "Words With Friends" on his phone. She asked him why had he run away and his reply was shocking to both of them: "Will you marry me?" Maybe it was the fear of being an outcast among the outcasts, maybe it was his mother's voice inside his head telling him to stop to sin, maybe it was because he was fond of her. It didn't matter. She didn't answer with words, but with a long kiss that made him uncomfortable and aroused. When their lips parted, he took a deep breath and explained to her he didn't want an engagement party or an extravagant wedding, but he would buy her a ring the next day and would formally ask her hand to her mother. She agreed with his terms with a wide smile on her lips and drove them to her place, where they celebrated their engagement with three sessions of shameless coitus.

Back to the present, Bernadette slowly stands up from the couch and goes to the bathroom for the sixth time in the evening, whining about how her daughter seems to use her bladder as a squishy toy. Howard laughs and kisses her forehead, gently rubbing the small baby bump. Leonard asks him, "It must be tough for her, isn't?"

"Nah, she just grumbles a little, but she's fascinated with the pregnancy. She thought she didn't have any maternal instincts, but after the first ultrasound, our life is all about Naomi…" Howard smiles sweetly.

Leonard grins and turns to Penny, who is sitting on a chair beside him, "I can't wait to have our own kids…"

Penny lets out a nervous giggle and pats his arm, "Me too, Honey… Me too…"

Sheldon immediately knows she's lying. They have been friends for almost nine years and he recognizes the way she doesn't make eye contact with her husband and how she licks her lips swiftly. He also knows their marriage isn't going well – Penny constantly complains about it to Amy. She says Leonard snores too much, works late almost every night, and they fight for the most insignificant things. On the other hand, Leonard has confessed to him that Penny was becoming more distant, that they barely talk to each other anymore. He really feels sad about them, but as he pointed one time, everyone knew what's going to happen.

Amy touches his arm and he turns to her, "Let's go home? I have to get up early to visit the bridal shops with Penny." Despite his aversion to a traditional wedding, Amy has convinced him she should wear a white gown and everything she had always dreamed of. With a small huff, he nods and they start to say goodbye to their friends.

He's shaking hands with Emily when he locks eyes with Penny. She is leaned against the kitchen island and looks slightly annoyed with something as he approaches her discreetly, "Penny… What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" she licks her lips again, "I'm tired as hell… The rehearsals are killing me!" After years of a failing acting career, she finally got a role in a new criminal drama TV series. Her character was a cameo to begin with before it became a full-fledged role. "And I have to go to dress hunting with Amy tomorrow…" she yawns, "Anyway, it was a pleasure to have you here."

He frowns and wonders about how they have drifted apart. No more laundry nights, daily bickering, rounds of "Soft Kitty" or drives to the grocery shop. This is not the Penny that made him laugh, comforted him, loved him. This Penny is bitter, sad and sarcastic. This Penny is a fraud, he realizes. With this in mind, he suggests, "Are you free tomorrow night? I know you don't work on Saturday nights, so… maybe we can go out… have dinner…" he plays with the hem of his t-shirt, "For old time's sake?"

She gives him a real smile and he almost can see the bubbly waitress from years ago in front of him. "Yes… Okay… Leonard… Leonard has to work tomorrow, so I'm free…" she emphasizes the last words and hugs him quickly, "See you tomorrow, Sheldon."

When he is at the door, he looks back at her. It amazes him how so many things have changed, but somehow they are still the same.


	2. Anything Can Happen

_"__And don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin." Bob Dylan, The Times They Are a-Changin'_

* * *

"Oh, Sheldon! Oh, yes! Right there... there… there… OH, MY GOD!" He speeds up his pace, thrusting into her harder and after a minute, climaxes with a small gasp. Amy holds him on top of her as they regain their breaths slowly, caressing his back up and down. He wants to get up and take a shower, but understands how the oxytocin affects her brain and stays there, kissing her neck softly. A few minutes later, he lies beside her as she wrap her arms around his waist, smiling at his relaxed face, "This was superb, Sheldon."

A smug grin appears on his lips – coitus is one of the many activities he excels at, he concludes. A quick glance at his watch shows him he's almost late for his meeting with Penny and he explains to his fiancée, "Amy, I have to shower now. It's 8:45, and Penny will pick me up at 10." Earlier, Penny texted him and told she would prefer to go to a pub instead of having dinner. He agreed against his will; he isn't a fan of bars or pubs, but he was looking forward to spend some time with his friend.

"I'm very happy about your decision of hanging out with Penny," Amy reveals while stretching her legs, "I'm sure she misses your companionship."

Me too, he thinks, but says nothing.

xxx

On the other side of town, Penny is having dinner with her husband. They eat in front of the TV, exchanging only a few words while watching the news. For the corner of her eye she notices how he keeps chewing the pizza with his mouth open and it takes all of her strength to not throw her glass of grape juice at him. These small things suddenly became bigger and the start of their heated arguments. So, she takes a deep breath and smiles at him, "I'm going to get ready… If I show up late, Sheldon will kill me!"

He nods, not taking his eyes of the screen, "Okay…"

She goes to their closet, searching for an outfit and finds what she was looking for – a black V-neck short dress that accentuates her curves. The workout is paying off, her body is in the best shape of her life, she realizes while admiring herself on the mirror. She has to be, after all, her character is a sexy detective who always wears tight pantsuits or tiny bikinis(?). Putting on her makeup, she feels a bit of anxiety about this whole meeting thing with Sheldon. After her wedding, they barely have spent time together; she sees him only once in a week, when everybody has dinner at her place and on special occasions, like birthdays or sci-fi marathons. Sometimes she has Girls' Nights with Amy, Bernadette and Emily, when they drink, talk and laugh, those times being the escape from her married life. Her boring, tedious, dull, married life. She sighs irritated, and places both hands on the sink. It's not Leonard's fault or hers. She doesn't know what is happening exactly, but deep inside of her, she is sure they're going down a path of no return.

When she's back in the living room, her husband stares at her smiling, "Wow! You look beautiful!"

"Thanks…" she mumbles and kisses him on the cheek, "Hurry up, Honey. Your shift starts in one hour…"

"I know, I know…" he rises from the couch, complaining, "I can't wait for this experiment to be over! I hate to work at night!"

"Yeah… See you tomorrow then… Bye…" she heads to the door, but he holds her arm, "What?"

He looks at her with puppy eyes, and stand on his tiptoes to peck her lips, "I love you, Penny."

"I love you too."

xxx

The pub is almost empty: just some guys playing cards on a table, a group of young girls on another and an older man drinking alone at the counter. After find the best place (on his opinion), they sit and wait for the waitress to come over. Sheldon breaks the silence, "I've never been to a pub before… Is it always this dark?"

She laughs, placing her clutch on the table, "Yes, Sheldon…"

"What's so funny?"

"You're in your late thirties and have never been to a pub… This is funny."

He huffs as the waitress approaches the table smiling, "Good evening. What can I get you?"

They both look at the menus and Penny answers, "I'll have a shot of tequila and a Kir Royale, please."

After several minutes, he decides to try something new and orders a Mojito. Penny makes a stunned face and then jokes, "I thought you would ask for a Virgin Cuba Libre."

He chuckles, remembering the day she gave him the slutty ones. "No more Cuba Libres for me."

"Or Virgin…" she giggles as his face turns red with embarrassment. "Come on, Sheldon… Don't be shy… We all know you have se-, coitus …"

"Penny, I'm not comfortable talking about my private life…" he speaks softly, rubbing his hands together, "Let's change the topic, shall we?"

"Okay… What do you want to talk about?" she asks as their drinks are brought to the table. "Oh! I know! Amy and I found the cutest bridesmaid dresses today. They're beautiful, red, long with adorable…"

He stops listening to her as she describes their gowns. For some reason, he doesn't want to hear anything related to his upcoming wedding. They still haven't set a date, despite Amy's constant ramblings about the perfect time of the year, the perfect places, the perfect buffets, the perfect flowers. If it was up to him they would get married at the city hall or with a small party with their closest friends and family. Things were getting out of his control and he was not happy about it. Suddenly, Penny interrupts his thoughts, "Sheldon? Aren't you listening?"

"I'm sorry, Penny, my mind was elsewhere…" he clears his throat, "So, tell me more about your TV show. I've watched a couple of episodes and the plots are very interesting."

She frowns, but quickly replies, "It's great. I'm very excited about it…" she smiles and orders another shot of Jose Cuervo, "My character is a really tough woman and it's fun to do all the fight scenes."

"I still don't understand why a LA detective punches criminals on a daily basis…" he finishes his drink with a grimace, "And why she wears such… revealing outfits…"

"Sheldon, this is fiction, right? The producers try to increase the audience by showing some skin…" she explains after taking her second shot, "And she is going to have a romantic interest soon…"

"Really? Is that young lieutenant?"

She grins, "Bingo! They will start a relationship in the next season."

"That's is good for you. It will sure bring some character development for Heather…" he sips his second Mojito, "What… What Leonard thinks about it?"

Her face turns darker, "I didn't mention it to him yet…" she looks tense, "You know how he is about this stuff…"

He silently agrees with her. Leonard has shown jealousy towards some other screen partners, directors and crew members. Sheldon notices she doesn't want to talk about it, so he simply adds, "I do… What is this Kir Royale drink? Is it good?"

"Yes, it's very sweet, do you wanna a taste?" she passes him her glass.

He proves the beverage and approves it, "It's delicious… I want one."

She gawks at him, "But you're still drinking your Mojito…"

He gulps it in one go. "Not anymore…" he smirks as the effects of alcohol start to numb his brain.

Two hours, seven Kirs and five beers later, Sheldon is without his gray jacket and leaning against his chair while Penny throws one more peanut at him. "Stop it!" he laughs, slurring the 's' a bit, "Penny! Ouch!" he protests, massaging his forehead.

"Sorry…" she chortles, looking around for the waitress, "Hey! Gina! Two beers!"

His head feels dizzy and he's aware of the big hangover he will have to face tomorrow, "Penny… We should… we should stop… I feel funny… "

"NO! We don't have to work tomorrow, Shelly! Let's have fun!"

She is right. They're already having fun. Too much fun. He can't remember the last time he felt so calm and happy. He now understands why he misses her so much; when Penny is in a good mood, she is a delightful friend. And at this moment, he needs to tell her that.

"Penny?"

"Yes?"

"I just want to… I…" the words are failing him, so he borrows some, "To quote Franz Kafka: 'I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly.'"

She stares at him speechless for several moments. He notices how her eyes seem brighter and somehow bigger; he's been fascinated with them since the day they met, they are so vivid and expressive she can reveal all her emotions with a simple glance. "I won't use those fancy words, but…" her voice cracks and she puts her hand on top of his, "I fucking miss you too."

He flinches at her vulgar language, but caresses her hand with his thumb. "Why did we drift apart, Penny?"

She sighs, looking down at their joined hands and says, "I believe it has started when you moved out… We used to live next to each other and then you left…" she rubs her eyes, trying to hide some tears, "And I got married, you got engaged… It is sad, but that's the way life is…"

"I don't like when you look sad… I'm sorry to bring this up…"

"Hey, it's okay… We are friends, friends talk about everything…" she assures him and drinks her beer with big sips, "I have an idea. Let's play a game. You can ask me anything you want and I have to answer, then it's my turn."

"Like _truth or dare_?"

"Yes, but without the daring part…" he makes a face, but she insists, "It's a good way to bond… to share…"

He nods hesitantly and starts "Do you like Emily?"

"Sure. She's funny and treats Raj well. They're a good match… Why? Don't you like her?"

"Of course I like her, she is a dermatologist, and it's beneficial to have a doctor among our circle of friends. Especially with a skin as fair as mine."

She snorts, but keeps going with their game, "Can I ask you a more personal question?"

He knows where this is going, but is too drunk to care, "Go ahead."

She grins mischievously, "Do you enjoy sex?" He gasps and spills his beer, "I mean, a few years ago you didn't like to be touched… What changed your mind?"

He cleans the table with a napkin, not making eye contact with her when he replies, "Amy deserved that."

"I know, but what took you so long? Haven't you been curious about it?"

Finally, he looks back at her. "These are a lot of questions, Penny. I only have to answer one at time."

"Oh, screw it!" she exclaims, throwing her arms in the air, "Forget the damn rules! Let's just talk like normal people."

He takes a deep breath and considers his next words carefully, deciding what to say and how to deliver it. "Alright. First, I do enjoy coitus. Second, Amy and I were already very intimate even before the sex happened. It was the natural course of events, I suppose. And third, I've been intrigued by this subject since I reached puberty."

She smirks, "You were waiting for that little vixen to take you out of your shell…"

His face feels hotter. Before he can stop it, he blurts out, "I've masturbated before, of course."

Penny opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Her cheeks are flushed and he promptly apologizes, "I'm sorry… It must be the alcohol talking…" How could he reveal this to her?

After her initial shock, her features soften as she reassures him, "No problem, Sheldon. Don't be ashamed. Everybody does it."

He lowers his head, pondering about her words. If they were being honest to each other and the topic didn't seem to bother her, his uninhibited state makes him venture, "Do you?"

She bluntly responds, "Yes."

They stay quiet for a long time, drinking their beers, his thoughts roaming into dangerous territory. Images of her pleasuring herself cloud his mind and he immediately shake them off. "I believe we should go home. It's late and I have to finish an essay due for Monday."

"Yeah… Let's take a cab… I can't drive like this."

"How about your car?"

"I'll get it tomorrow. Check please." she waves to the waitress.

A minute later, she brings the bill and Sheldon briefly looks at it before put his credit card in the bill folder. Penny protests, "Hey! We should split it!"

He drawls, "A gentleman never lets a lady pay." Mary Cooper didn't raise a barbarian, he reasons.

She smiles at him as Gina gives his card back, "Good night to you two."

They walk to the street slightly stumbling and see a cab parked at the curb. She enters first and tells the driver the directions as he sits beside her, running his fingers through his hair. "Are you ok?" she asks.

He sighs, "I'm fine… Just sleepy…"

A soft shake on his shoulder wakes him up. He opens his eyes slowly and realizes they're in front of Amy's building. "Oh! I felt asleep…" he mumbles.

Penny giggles, "Yes, you did…"

Before he gets out of the cab, he turns to her and poses the question he's been waiting to ask all night, "Would you like to make this a weekly routine?"

"What do you mean?"

"We can go out once in a week… to chat, to dinner, to go to the movies… just us…"

He knows her answer before she speaks, "Like an 'Anything Can Happen Sheldon and Penny Day'?"

"Yes… something like that…" he laughs and she kisses his cheek. "Okay." To his own surprise, he repeats her gesture and whispers, "Good night, Penny."

An hour later, lying beside Amy, he is certain he's still drunk as a familiar green-apple scent seems to be clung onto him.

xxx

The room around her is spinning and she gets out of the bed to drink another glass of water. Tomorrow (today?) will be another Hangover-Sunday. She eats a small piece of chocolate, goes back to her bedroom half tripping on the carpet and lies on the rumpled sheets, already regretting those shots of tequila. It was a wonderful evening, though a little different to say the least. She's aware of Sheldon's behavior when he's drunk, but tonight… tonight he was bolder, more open. I like this Sheldon, she thinks. Without her consent, her thighs press together and she feels her nipples harden. Oh no, drunk Penny equals horny Penny. Where's Leonard when she needs him? Literally taking the matter on her own hands, she pushes her panties aside and rubs her herself, leisurely at first, but then faster as she feels her juices streaming from her. With two fingers inside and her thumb on her clit, her orgasm is coming; she's almost there, so she pictures her husband fucking her from behind when out of nowhere, a sentence appears in her head, _"I've masturbated before, of course."_ Her hips lift from the bed and a moan escapes from her mouth, "Sheldon…"

Everything loses its focus until her orgasm passes and she pants heavily, clutching at the sheets. What the hell is wrong with her? This didn't happen, she repeats to herself for long minutes. With a calmer mind, she goes to the bathroom, cleans herself and brushes her teeth. Looking at the mirror, she wonders if her "Anything Can Happen" days have already begun.


	3. Dominant

**Author's note: Thank you for your kind and encouraging reviews. You guys are the best.**

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_"__Now if you will be my lover, I will shiver insane_

_But if you can be my master, I will do anything." Iggy Pop, Gimme Danger_

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Their next encounter is at Raj and Emily's engagement party. The official one, since now Raj's parents came from India to finally meet the beautiful redhead. Everyone is sitting at the big table, talking, eating, drinking, enjoying this wonderful night. Well, almost everyone. Sheldon is bored and a little annoyed. This week he won't have his meeting with Penny due her busy schedule and the symposium he has to go tomorrow. They had a really great time last week and he'd already planned a visit to the zoo with her. Well, maybe they will go next Saturday or do something in the middle of the week. "I'll miss our day…" she whispers to him, almost like she was reading his mind.

He nods and promptly suggests, "Do you want to go to the movies on Wednesday? I'll let you pick…" a grin appears on his lips, "But no romantic comedies."

She smiles, and at this moment he notices that her lipstick matches the color of her scarlet dress, "I promise - no Sandra or Jennifer!"

Leonard looks at them and asks, "What are you two talking about?"

There is a pause and Sheldon realizes she didn't tell her husband about their plans. Of course they aren't doing anything wrong, but she probably prefers to keep this "thing" between them. Penny eventually answers dryly, "We're discussing movies… Just that."

Leonard frowns, but stays quiet, looking at his glass of wine. She excuses herself and goes to the bathroom, leaving him and his friend silently observing the party. The short man leans closer to him after a few moments, "Did you see that?"

Sheldon clears his throat, "What?"

"Penny… She has been treating me like shit lately. I don't know what is happening…" he pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, "Maybe she's seeing someone else."

"Don't talk like that, Leonard." A sudden anger flares inside him. "You know your wife is not a cheater. Just because she is extremely attractive, it doesn't mean she'll be unfaithful to you. Penny deserves respect."

Leonard stares at him in astonishment and immediately apologizes, "I'm sorry… I'm just upset and…"

"That's enough, Leonard." Sheldon abruptly gets up from his chair and walks to the small winter garden. He is surprised by his own reaction to their conversation. But he is tired of Leonard's complaints about her since the beginning; he has married a beautiful woman, he should control his jealousy. And besides that, Penny has never given him any reasons to doubt her fidelity. He hears steps behind him and knows without looking that is her; only Penny smells like a mix of vanilla and green apples. "Leonard is going home."

He turns to her and she holds a frustrated expression: bitter Penny, he recognizes. "Are you leaving as well?"

"I have to…" she sighs.

"No, you don't. Amy can give you a ride home."

She ponders for a while, "I want to stay too, but I also want to avoid a fight…"

"Okay…" he agrees, looking at his feet.

He feels her arms wrapped around his back and lifts his head only to rest his chin on her shoulder. No words are needed now and they lose sense of time as he places his hands on her waist while she holds him closer. Slowly, she disentangles herself from his arms and kisses his nose, leaving a red lipstick stain there. He wipes his face, glaring at her, "Penny! I look like a clown!"

She laughs, "A clown made of candy?" Despite his irritation, he smiles. "See you on Wednesday, Sheldon. Bye."

He watches her leaving, wondering about an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes and wishes he could be one of them right now. Just for a moment.

xxx

They had a quick dinner, watched a horror movie (too yucky for him) and now are at a small cafeteria – Penny drinks a latte and he sips a lemon and ginger tea. She keeps rubbing her right thigh and he asks, "What's wrong with your leg?"

"I fell down from the stairs while filming a chase scene… Look at this!" She lifts her skirt a little and shows him the ugly bruise. "It hurts like hell!"

He swallows hard, noticing the bruise and a bit of her black panties, additionally detecting a stir inside his pants. How odd. Crossing his legs, he advises her, "You… you should apply an arnica gel on that…"

"I will. I have some at home…" she bites a bear claw, "They even gave me some days off."

"Good… good…" he tries to deviate his mind from the sight of her perfect tanned legs, "I was informed that Leonard will go to a Physics conference in Las Vegas on Friday. As you are free from your obligations, are you planning to join him?"

"No…" she glances at the window beside them, "I… We need some time apart."

As she has told him that friends can talk about everything, he hints, "You're not at a good place." Is a statement, not a question.

She looks back at him and nods gloomily, "Marriage is a tough business."

He tries to lighten up the mood, "You shouldn't say that to an engaged man."

"I know, I know…" she giggles, "But you two are a perfect match. Amy is made for you; you are very compatible."

Penny is right. They're well matched, in harmony, perfect. Sometimes too perfect, he muses. Just the way he likes the world around him: synchronized, impeccable and spotless. He is a very lucky man, it's a fact. But why sometimes does he want to wear only a shirt, to not wash his hands before a meal, to grow his hair longer, to learn how to drive, to _be_ with another woman? He is a man with many answers, but he has no idea why this desire for the unknown boils inside him from time to time. A rebellion, he could call it that.

"Sheldon?" she questions, "Why are you so quiet?"

"Nothing."

"Look, I didn't say that all marriages are bad; look at Howard and Bernadette, they're very happy together…" she eyes him with concern, "I was talking about my situation… Got it?"

"I know, Penny…" he smiles at her, "Do you… do you want to share your worries?"

"Are you sure?" she lowers her voice, "He's your best friend and all…"

"You're also my friend, Penny. I'm concerned about your life although I don't express it more often."

She grins and begins, "Well, it all started when we moved in together… When you live with a person on a daily basis, some things change… He shows his little faults, I show mine and so on…" she pauses to order another latte, "We have arguments about stupid things… But the biggest problem of all is… he doesn't trust me."

Sheldon lowers his head, not sure of how to reply, but she continues, "He thinks that my colleagues are hitting on me; I can't wear a shorter dress; when I'm texting someone, he's always curious, 'Who is it?', 'Who would send you a message at this time of the evening?'. It's exhausting."

"I can imagine…" is the only thing he can say.

"And there is the other stuff…" she seems embarrassed as her cheeks redden, "Nevermind…"

"What? Tell me… You know you can confide in me…" he demands, feeling strangely curious about what she has to say.

She takes a deep breath and timidly confesses, "I didn't talk about this with the girls… You're the only person who will know about this…" he gestures for her to keep going, "Our sex life is a disaster."

He blinks twice to absorb her words. This is a very intimate topic, he's aware of that, but she seems open to discuss it, so he asks, "He doesn't satisfy you?"

"Not anymore…" she rubs her palms together, "At first, we were very good, we had a chemistry somehow… But now… Maybe is the emotional aspect… I don't know exactly."

He can't believe in what he is about to say, but goes on, "Have you tried something new? Like… new positions, massages, role-playing…" he finishes with a pink flush on his face.

Penny smirks, "You are a changed man, Sheldon. Who would believe we would have this type of conversation years ago?" she laughs loudly, "But I like this new you."

He looks at everywhere but her and says, "You still didn't answer my question."

"Yes, Sheldon, we've tried everything you mentioned and more. But nothing works anymore. And every time I bring this up, he gets all sensitive, and we have a big fight. So, I fake my orgasms, he pretends he believes in it and we go on with our 'happy' life."

"I'm sorry, Penny…" he speaks softly, patting her hand.

They're quiet for a while, until she giggles, "I wish I had Amy's luck…"

He gasps and stares at her in shock. Of course Amy has told her about their bedroom activities, he is aware of that, but at the same time, he feels embarrassed and with a small hint of pride. Licking his lips, he makes a bold move, "Why is she lucky?"

As expected, Penny doesn't disappoint him, "She constantly states you're a god in the bedroom."

This is his turn to smirk, more to himself than at her, as he remembers Amy's face when he is deep inside of her or her screams of pleasure when he hits her G-spot with precision. Since they have started to have coitus, he read a lot of books, watched video tips and went to sex seminars with her fiancée to improve his techniques. After all, he is a perfectionist and Amy deserves this after the long years of a non-physical relationship. Finally, he replies, "Really? She said that?"

Penny gives him a sly grin, "Yep. I can't say I'm surprised with some things she has told me…"

"What things?"

"I've always knew you are a dominant person. Why you would be different in bed?"

This is for sure the most surreal talk they have ever had, but the familiar tingle in his private parts is back and Sheldon Cooper is a scientist above it all, so he intends to test some theories, "Are you a dominant or a submissive? You once told me you're a 'big ol' five', but do you enjoy being dominated occasionally?"

Her pupils are dilated when she responds with a whisper, "It is my biggest turn on."

He swallows a moan, "Have you ever fulfilled this fantasy in particular?"

"Yes… Once…" she unconsciously leans closer to him, "My second boyfriend, Tom, tied me up on the bed and went down on me for almost an hour… I almost passed out… He was very good at oral sex… Do you like it?"

He places a napkin on his lap, hiding his erection and admits with a hoarse voice, "At first I thought the idea was extremely unhygienic, but after my first attempt, I really enjoyed…" he notices her erratic breathing and adds, "My favorite part on performing it is when her hips begin to undulate against my mouth and a I have to hold her down… Also, her taste is almost addictive."

She drinks a glass of water in big gulps, eyes closed and chest heaving up and down. Her nipples are visible through her purple blouse and he acknowledges she is aroused too. He isn't an expert in social interactions, but knows they're crossing a line. A thin, faint, dangerous line. When he is ready to suggest they should leave, Penny looks at him with something closer to lust and asks, "How do you feel when you spank her? I know she loves it, but how is it for you?"

Penny, Penny, Penny, you are playing with forces beyond your ken, he thinks. "I don't spank her; I just slap her gently. I would never hit a woman."

She huffs, "I know Sheldon! I'm talking about bedroom spanking… Geez…"

He considers it for a moment and answers, "I feel… powerful… I like when she groans my name while I slap her buttocks…" he runs his fingers through his hair, "I also like to see the red marks on her pale skin… I kiss them better afterwards."

Out of the blue, she spills, "I miss a good spanking, you know? I always hint it to Leonard, but his smacks are too gentle. I like it rough."

Sheldon bites his lower lip to muffle a groan. He likes it rough too. He can imagine his hands groping her round ass and hitting it until she begs him to stop. Maybe he would make her climax only with his slaps and his thumb circling her clitoris; her body pressed against the wall while his mouth would bite her neck as she screamed his name over and over. It's time to go home now, he concludes. "P…Penny, it's almost ten, I have to return to Amy's apartment to achieve a restful sleep."

He can see she is discontented with his words, but agrees with him anyway. "Okay… But I'll pay this time." He tries to protest, but she stops him. "Let me be the dominant this time."

Her whimsy dubious statement brings a smile to his lips. He likes this Penny too.

When they reach his/their place, Penny unbuckles her seat belt and suggests, "Do you wanna go to my apartment on Saturday? I'll be alone and we can play some videogames."

"I'll have dinner with Amy and her mother…" he sadly replies. "What about Friday?"

"Girls' Night…" she sighs, "It's okay, we can go out next week."

This is unacceptable. "I can meet you after dinner… Around ten, ten-thirty…"

"What about Amy? She won't be upset?"

"Of course not, she has encouraged me to spend more time with you… She doesn't mind to share her 'bestie' with me."

She chuckles and approves his plan, "It's a date then."

This time, he kisses her cheek first, closer to her ear and whispers, "Thank you for this very enjoyable and elucidative evening, Penny. Good night."

She waits until he enters the building, starts the car and knows for sure that this will be the fourth masturbation night on a row with him in her fantasies.


	4. Games

_"__What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way._

_What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you." Chris Isaak, Wicked Game_

* * *

Raj kisses the three girls on the cheek and explains, "I'm sorry ladies, but I have to leave now. Emily is waiting for me at the airport."

Penny protests, "Oh, I love when you join Girl's Night! Why don't you bring her here with you?"

He smirks, "Because I haven't seen her in a week, Penny… We need some time alone, if you know what I mean…" he winks at her.

"We all know what you mean, Raj!" Bernadette exclaims, "Go have sex!"

He laughs and opens the door, "It was a pleasure as always. Good night, girls."

As soon as he leaves, Amy starts, "Okay, now I have to tell you something that happened yesterday…" she takes off her glasses and sips her wine, "I'm not comfortable talking about my private life around the guys."

Bernadette almost jumps on the couch in excitement, "It's dirty? Please, tell me it's dirty… I'm a pregnant woman full of hormones and my husband is in Houston for five more days… Spill it, Amy!"

The brunette grins, "Yes, it is dirty… It is probably the kinkiest thing we have done…"

Penny stands up to pick another bottle of wine. She will certainly need more alcohol to hear what Amy has to say. When she sits back on the couch, Amy begins, "Last night Sheldon put a blindfold on me and tied me up on the bed…" Penny's hands are sweaty; what the hell? Amy continues, "He… he performed cunnilingus on me and… and I came five times."

Bernadette claps her hands in delight, "Oh my God! Five times? I can barely come once when Howie eats me out…" she frowns a little, "Oral sex isn't his thing…"

"You didn't let me finish…" Amy interrupts, "After those heavenly five times, he untied me, pinned me against the wall and entered me from behind…" she licks her lips, "And I achieved orgasm again, while he bit my neck and spoke… naughty things in my ear."

"What things? Tell me!" a flushed Bernadette squeaks.

Amy looks down, face red with embarrassment and describes it, "He said, 'You like when I dominate you, don't you?', 'Are you going to come for me, Amy?', 'I want to watch you pass out on my cock.'"

The tiny blonde stays speechless for long seconds as Penny almost dies right there. Why did he replicate with Amy the bondage thing she just had revealed to him? And the domination speech? Was it a coincidence or their conversation ignited something on him? He knows Amy talks about their sex life to her and Bernadette… Unless… Unless he did it on purpose: maybe he wanted her to know what he did to his fiancée. But why?

"Sheldon said 'cock'?" Bernadette lets out her high-pitched laugh, "I didn't know he was so naughty!"

"Neither do I." Amy nods, "He barely talks during sex… He usually just moans or groans when he nears climax… It was a wonderful turn of events…" she raises her glass, "A toast to naughty Sheldon!"

The three girls clink their glasses and Bernadette drinks her orange juice slowly. "I'm so happy for you, Amy!" she turns to Penny, "Isn't great that the neurotic Sheldon is changing?"

Penny smiles, but stays quiet while the other two friends keep chatting about sexual performances. She closes her eyes briefly and imagines Sheldon whispering 'cock' in her ear; she immediately shivers as she pictures him fucking her senseless until he comes across her breasts and she licks his semen with a satisfied grin. "Penny?" Amy touches her arm, "Did you just moan?"

Using her best acting skills, she replies, "What? No… It's my leg… It still hurts a little…"

"Did you use the arnica gel Sheldon suggested you?"

"Yes… Don't worry, I'm a tough girl…" she assures her and finishes her wine with a big gulp.

An hour later, Amy and Bernadette are picking her respective purses, ready to leave as Penny hugs the microbiologist and kisses her belly, "Bye Bernadette… Bye Naomi… Don't kick your mom too hard, ok?" she jokes.

When Amy hugs her, she says softly, "Don't worry, Penny. Sheldon will be here on time tomorrow." Penny gives her a tight smile. "I'm very pleased about your efforts to renew your friendship. He cares a lot about you."

"I lo-care about him too…" she stammers. What the fuck, Penny?

She waves to them and closes the door, sighing heavily. Before she goes to bed, she texts Leonard, _"Have a good night. Call me tomorrow. Love U."_ This little action calms her heart as she falls in a dreamless sleep.

xxx

He walks up the stairs quickly, adjusting his tie and patting his hair. The dinner was enervating as Amy and her mother kept babbling about the details of their wedding. The only thing that soothed his mind was the prospect of his imminent encounter with Penny at his old apartment. He is anxious to know her reaction after the latest Girls' Night. Amy surely told her about the coitus, he thinks. After their conversation at the cafeteria, something shifted inside him and he had, no, he _needed_ to experience what she confessed to him. It was the best sex of his life; all his inhibitions were off while he plunged into Amy and murmured all the dirty thoughts that were spinning in his head. Not all of the thoughts, of course. During the foreplay, for a brief moment, he shut his eyes and visualized a disheveled Penny moaning as he lapped at her vagina. He wondered if all the women would taste the same, would feel the same against his tongue. Maybe he would never know. Now, looking at the door of 4A, some hidden part inside of him wishes Penny enjoyed what she heard.

_(Penny… Penny… Penny)_

She opens the door smiling, "Right on time!" Her short blue dress is so distracting, he tries to keep his eyes on her face, avoiding the exposed area above her breasts.

"I'm a man of my word…" he chuckles, entering the living room as she motions him to sit on the couch.

"Do you want some tea… water… wine?" she offers, walking to the kitchen island, "Oh! I have Steinhäger! Let's take a shot!"

"It's a German beverage?"

"Yes, is a gin… But I should warn you, this is strong stuff!"

He thinks about it for a while and decides to prove it. Penny brings the small glasses with the bottle to the coffee table and their night begins.

They played two matches of _Halo_ and now the Steinhäger is almost empty. Sheldon grumps, "I know I shouldn't have drink alcohol… My reflexes are not functioning properly…"

Penny laughs after her smashing victories, "I'm a winner!" She stands up and does an awkward stumbling dance, putting her hands in the air and swinging her hips. He just watches her, amazed of how even in her drunk state, she manages to be so sexy. She has always been, he recognizes. Darn, she is beautiful when she wakes up, with no makeup, her hair tied in a messy bun. Penny is a sex force. Penny _is _sex. He shakes his head unconsciously; he is in a committed relationship, he shouldn't find other women attractive, especially his dear friend. Or should he? It is all inside his head, he can't control some of his desires and after all, they would never get physical, he is not cheating. Fantasize about someone else isn't a betrayal, right? Right, his brain ends the conundrum.

"I need a beer. Now. Do you want one?" she asks when she finishes her "dance".

"I'm already tipsy, Penny…" She pouts at him, placing her hands on her waist. "Okay… Just one."

She passes him the bottle and sits very close to him; their legs are almost touching. He feels hot and realizes he's wearing too many clothes. "Penny, do you mind if I take off my jacket and tie? I'm sweating."

"Do you want to strip for me?" she giggles, "Do it slowly…"

He rolls his eyes and puts his clothes on a chair, also opening the three first buttons of his long-sleeved white shirt. When he turns to her, he notices her gaze on his chest and sees the pink flash of her tongue as she licks her lips. Maybe some things are inside her head as well. He sits on the couch carefully, this time with more space between them. "_Mario Kart_ is still here. Wanna play?" she suggests, crossing her legs.

"Noooo…" he wails, scratching his forehead, "I suck at _Mario Kart_…"

"So, what do you wanna do?"

The first thing that comes to his mind is: _"I want to know how you taste"_, but he simply answers, "We can just talk… jibber-jabber…" he smirks, as his vision becomes slightly dim.

"Okay… How was your dinner?"

"Boooooooooooring… Tedious… It was wedding this, wedding that… Blah-blah-blah…"

Penny frowns and implies, "You're not excited about your wedding?"

He straightens up, looking directly at her, "No."

"Why?"

"I don't want to make a big deal of this…" he sighs and drinks his beer, "A wedding is supposed to be shared with your closest friends, in my opinion. I'm not the king of Sweden; I don't want a big celebration, to make small talk with people I barely know, to smile at everyone like a big fool."

Her voice is small when she says, "But a wedding is an important day in a woman's life… And Amy is thrilled about it… She thought she would never get married…"

"Did she tell you this?" Penny just nods and looks at the floor. "I don't understand why a man wouldn't marry her. She is a remarkable, intelligent, caring woman…." he pauses, "That's why I'm doing this for her."

She lifts her head, "Marrying her?"

"Yes."

"Sheldon… We've been sharing a lot of personal stuff during the last weeks, so I believe I'm allowed to ask you this…" she takes a deep breath, "Do you love her?"

His response carries an indignant tone, "Of course I do!"

She touches his knee and he stares at her hand then back at her face, "Let me rephrase that: Are you IN love with her?"

A silence falls over them as he analyzes her question. What's the difference between love someone and being in love with someone? He loves her company, her smile, her smart comments, her innocence that somehow matches his own… But if Penny is referring to passion, the romantic love splattered on books or movies… He can't say he feels this way. He had never felt this way about anyone. Therefore, he replies, "I don't know if I'm capable of being in love with someone."

Penny gasps and stays speechless for a while, seemingly shocked with his confession. "Why?" she finally speaks.

"I don't know…" he closes his eyes, "Maybe because I have always been too busy working on my theses, my doctorates, my scientific projects… I wasn't interested in pursuing a romantic relationship … I'm a lonely person, Penny… Even if I'm dating, engaged or married: I will always be alone."

Her eyes become teary and she lets out a small sob, "This is the saddest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Oh no, unhappy Penny. With a swift move, he hugs her tightly as she cries harder on his shoulder. He caresses her long hair and reflects on why she is so upset. He didn't offend her or Amy; he has just stated the truth. "Penny…" he whispers, "Why are you crying?"

She leans back on the couch, wiping her tears, "Because all that you said is true. We are all alone." Before he can explain his words to her, she continues, "I dated a lot of guys, but in the end I was alone. I fell in love with a lot of jerks and they all left me alone. Fuck! I'm married and I'm still alone!" She rises up and runs to the bathroom.

He goes to the fridge and grabs another beer. This was not in his plans for tonight. He came over there to have fun, playing games, laugh. Now he has made Penny cry. He must apologize to her now, so he knocks on the bathroom door, "Penny, I'm sorry… Please come out…" After a minute, she opens the door, her eyes a bit puffy, but with a smile on her lips. "No, I'm sorry… I'm drunk and sometimes I get all oversensitive …"

The walk back to the living room and he mumbles, "I should go now. I've already ruined our night."

She grabs his arm and pleads, "No… stay… It was my fault; I started that topic… It's not my business…"

"It is your business, Penny…" he steps closer to her and tilts her chin, "You're my friend… and now my confidant… We trust in each other… I feel… less lonely when I'm with you."

"Me too…" she stands on her tiptoes to place her lips on his ear, "Since the beginning."

He fights back a groan as his penis hardens with her mouth touching his earlobe. Clearing his throat, they sit again and she turns on the TV, clearly aware of what was about to happen. They watch some silly sitcom quietly, but he knows that none of them are paying attention on the screen. His dirty thoughts are coming back to him and he asks calmly, "How was the Girls' Night?"

She turns to him with the defiant expression he knows too well, "It was fun. Especially when Amy told us how you tied her up and she came five times."

Five? He had counted four. He grins, not caring about dangerous lines anymore, "Thanks for the idea, by the way."

The game is on, he can almost feel it, "You're welcome. I have others, do you wanna hear them?" she asks while going to the kitchen, opening a bottle of white wine.

He is already half-hard when she comes back and offers him a glass, "Sure. Maybe I can share some of my own with you."

Penny smirks, "Okay… Well, let me see…" she plays with her golden necklace, "Have you ever had sex in front of a mirror? It's mind-blowing…"

"Yes…" he drinks his wine, "Twelve times."

She gasps and refills her glass, "Great… In the bedroom?"

"No. In front of the bathroom sink… Most of the times with her standing up facing the mirror, but twice with her sitting on the sink."

He can see her left leg trembling slightly. Good. "Do you like to have sex in a bathtub?"

"Sure… But how can you do it? You're too tall."

He stretches his legs and explains, "I also have a great imagination, Penny…." She snorts. "I can place her on my lap, enter her from behind or simply sit on the edge as she performs fellatio on me."

She drinks her third glass on a row and giggles, "What about dirty talk?"

"Hum… I only tried once…" he jokes, "As you already know."

"Yeah… You said 'cock'!" she laughs and places her bare feet on the coffee table, "You should do this more often, Sweetie… Most women enjoy some cussing in the bedroom…"

"Do you?"

She throws her head back on the couch and rubs her eyes, "Yes."

"Don't be succinct, Penny… What do you like to hear?" He can't stop himself.

Looking at him fiercely, her voice is husky when she speaks, "I like when they call me 'bitch'… When they whisper: 'You're so tight', 'I'm gonna make you come so good', when they groan my name while fucking me hard… But what turns me on more is…" she puts her hands over her eyes, "I can't believe I'm going to tell you this… Is when they call me 'Penelope'."

He is panting when she finishes. He can't hide his rapid breathing and she raises her eyebrows at him, changeling him to best her. She only takes her eyes from him to glance down at his pants and by the look on her face, she approves what she sees. This is wrong, they have to stop it now before they do something they'll both regret, but he is too far gone, and he won't let her win this sick game. "Do you…" a deep breath, "Do you want to know what I like?"

She leans closer to him, so close he can notice the tiny freckles on her nose, "Please…" she whispers and he covers the front of his pants, squeezing his erection in an attempt to calm his body.

"Amy… Amy doesn't talk so much; she mostly screams: 'God', 'more', 'right there'… I wish… she was more verbal…" He drinks the wine from the bottle and continues, "Sometimes I'm afraid to scare her with the things I want to say…"

"Say it now." Is almost a plea, a sweet and naughty plea.

"I… I want to tell her she tastes so good that I have to control myself to not ejaculate while licking her… her pussy…" Penny presses her legs together, "That her muscles clenching around my penis make me crazy… To order her to suck my cock…" He emphasizes the last word as the blonde clutches a cushion to her lap, "To call her a good girl when she gets on her hands and knees for me… To ask her how she can handle my big dick inside her tight vagina…"

He is so hard; it takes all of his strength to not unbutton his pants and stroke himself right there. She is affected too, he senses an unusual scent coming from her and he's sure that her pheromones are screaming at him. He has to go. Now. "Penny, I… I'm going to call a cab, okay?"

Before he grabs his phone, she touches his thigh. He eyes her startled, scared about her proximity to his genitalia. "Before you go, I have to ask you… Did you fuck her just the way I had told you, out of curiosity or because you wanted me to know?"

He blurts out, "Both of your hypothesis are true."

"I have imagined that…" she stands up and starts to pick up the glasses, "I'm glad you did it."

He wants to give her is a kiss that will make her regret all her/his teasing. Instead, he calls the cab company and silently helps her to clean the living room. When the car arrives, she accompanies him to the door and leans on it, waiting for his (now) customary peck on her cheek. "Close your eyes…" he speaks softly. At first, she glares at him, but obliges his request. He kisses her forehead, her eyes, her nose, he cheeks and after kissing her ear, he murmurs in it, "You're not alone. I'm not alone. We'll always have each other. Good night… Penelope."

He leaves without looking back. Later, in the shower, he bites his arm to not wake Amy up when he comes twice, imagining her in that blue dress, riding him on his old spot, shattering all the bottles and glasses around them.


	5. Right X Wrong

**Author's note: You guys are amazing. Really. **

* * *

_"__It's all wrong, it's all right_

_It's all wrong, it's all right." Radiohead, All I Need _

* * *

Leonard places his suitcase on the floor and opens the door of his apartment, entering the living room and frowns. All the lights are off and the place seems empty. "Penny?" he calls out, as he tries to find the switch on the wall. Suddenly, the bedroom door opens and a completely naked Penny walks to him. He gasps, staring at his wife as she approaches him and whispers in his ear, "I've missed you so much… Did you miss me?"

"I… Yes… I…" he stammers as she rubs the front of his pants.

"Then fuck me, Leonard." She faces the wall leaning her body against it, bending slightly, displaying her ass to him, "Fuck me now."

She hears him fumbling with his pants and in a few seconds he is at her opening, pushing inside her slowly, groaning in her neck, "You're so wet… Were you touching yourself?"

"Yes…" she hisses, rocking towards him, "I should have gone to Vegas with you…" He pinches her nipples, "This is what you do to me… Fuck me harder… Don't stop…"

He thrusts roughly, pinning her against the wall with his body, "Oh Penny… Oh…"

She whimpers, "Pull my hair… Pull… Oh, YES!" she yelps as his fingers tug her blond locks, "Say it, Leonard… Say it… Now…"

"Penelope… Penelope… Oh shit!" Her muscles squeeze his dick and she comes with a scream as he follows her after a minute. He holds her for a while, kissing her nape as she regains her breath. She didn't fake it this time, physically speaking. With her eyes still closed, she silently thanks Sheldon for bringing her to orgasm again, even indirectly.

She turns to her husband who has a stunned expression on his face, "That was… Wow… Amazing…"

"You haven't seen anything yet, Honey…" she smirks and entwines their hands, "Let's go to bed and I'll show you some other amazing things…"

They have sex two more times until Leonard says he can't take it anymore and falls asleep beside her. She looks at him sleeping and decides to take a bath. Once inside the tub, she feels relaxed, but still a little unsatisfied. She climaxed a lot of times this evening, but her insides throb again as she remembers _those _words about sex in a bathtub. That's it; this is the first thing they'll do when Leonard wakes up tomorrow. She will sit on his lap with her back to him and imagine blue eyes watching her as she rides his cock as hard and fast as she can. "Thank you, Moonpie…" she whispers in the empty bathroom.

xxx

"Where is Raj?" Sheldon asks as soon as they sit at the table.

"He has a flu… He just texted me and went home earlier." Leonard explains.

"Good. I don't want his bacteria around me…"

Leonard snorts and keeps eating his lunch. President Siebert approaches the table, "Good afternoon, gentlemen." Sheldon just nods and Leonard shakes his hand, "Hello, Sir."

"I just want to remind you about my retirement party on Friday…" Before Sheldon can say something, he's already walking away, "Don't forget it's a gala event: the dress code is strict; no casual wear… Oh, and bring your lovely ladies with you."

Sheldon grumbles, "I hate those gatherings. Why can't he just say goodbye?"

The short man laughs and shakes his head, "It's not that simple, Sheldon. You know it."

His face is still annoyed when he says, "How was the conference?"

"It was ok…" he drinks his soda, "Nothing very interesting was discussed…" he pauses and smiles to himself.

Sheldon furrows his eyebrows, "If your trip was a waste of time, why are you smiling?"

Leonard glances at him, apparently unsure of his next words, "I… I mean, we… Penny and I…" he lowers his voice, "We are happy again."

An imaginary knife stabs his stomach. He had never felt this… this kind of sudden anger before. I'm the master of my own body, his brain yells at him. Exhaling slowly, he questions his friend, "Really? Why?"

"She is… she is treating me better…" he blushes, "When I got back home yesterday… she welcomed me very… warmly." Sheldon knows he is talking about sex; he recognizes the signs of contentment on Leonard's face. He wants to change the topic, but Leonard continues, "I didn't know that it was possible, but she is more… enthusiastic."

Sheldon drops his fork on the plate with a loud clatter and Leonard looks at him with surprise. His heart feels tight in his chest, like someone is squishing it with strong Nebraskan hands. He doesn't understand what is going on inside him and he has to go back to his office now, before he can say something he doesn't know exactly what or hit his friend in the middle of the Caltech cafeteria. "Leonard…" he breathes with difficulty, "I'm going to my office now… I'm not feeling well…"

"Hey… What's wrong?" he touches his arm and Sheldon retracts it immediately.

"Nothing…" he stands up, "See you later, Leonard."

When he reaches his office, he is calmer, but still irrationally furious. He sits on his chair, facing the open window and ponders about his awkward reaction, organizing the recent events in his mind. Penny is married to Leonard. They have sex on a regular basis. She said he wasn't satisfying her in the bedroom, but he has supposedly become a better lover. He should be happy for them. But he is not. Why? He stares at the trees outside as some tears appear in his eyes. He is jealous, he realizes. He should be the one to make her more 'enthusiastic'. But he can't. They can't. They have chosen different paths in life and what is done is done. He will marry his adorable Amy and she will be having coitus with Leonard. They will still be friends and nothing more. "Dammit!" he shouts as he punches the wall, bruising his knuckles. The pain is nothing compared with the emotional injury he is enduring right now. He can take care of his fingers later. At this moment, he just wants to erase from his memory her loving expression when he kissed her goodbye, two nights ago.

xxx

"Leonard, this movie sucks!" Penny exclaims, grabbing the remote control, "Let's watch something else!"

"No! They're about to find out who is the killer!" he begs, "Please, please, please!"

She smiles at him and kisses his lips briefly, "Okay, but after this, you will have to watch _Project Runway _with me."

He sighs and grins, "Alright. But just because you're cute."

She smiles and snuggles to him, putting her head on his shoulder. It's funny how she's more patient with him. Since he got back from Vegas, their relationship is more serene, calm. She knows why, but refuses to admit that her new "interactions" with Sheldon have brought her a sense of peace she had been missing for months, maybe years. They aren't doing anything wrong. No, they are not.

"Penny…" Leonard shakes his shoulder and she lifts her head, "Your phone is vibrating…" he points at it on the coffee table.

"Oh! It must be my personal trainer cancelling our session tomorrow…" she says while picking it and sees a new text message. From Sheldon. _"Are you alone? I want to speak with you in private."_

Her hands tremble a little as she replies, _"I'm at home with Leonard. Where are U?"_

"Is she cancelling again?" her husband asks, still watching the movie.

"Yeah… I should find another personal…" she tries to hide the excitement in her voice. His response is quick: _"I'm in front of your building. Meet me at the gas station across the street."_

What? Her eyes widen and she bites her lip, already thinking of an excuse to leave the apartment. After a few minutes, she goes to the fridge and says casually, "Oh… We're out of grape juice again…"

Leonard looks at her, "I can go to the convenience store at the gas station… The movie is over."

"No!" she almost shouts, "I'll go… I have to buy some lady stuff too…"

"Oh… Okay…"

"Do you want something?" she asks, grabbing her wallet and heading to the door.

"No, thanks… But hurry up, _Project Runway_ starts in thirty minutes." She nods and closes the door with a smile.

She finds him standing against the wall, wearing a superhero t-shirt and playing with the strap of his messenger bag. When she steps closer to him, his face is hard, his expression cold, but it softens slightly when she greets him, "Hi."

"Hello, Penny. Please follow me…" he leads them to a dark alley behind the store, near the bathrooms. "Here. No one will disturb us here."

Before she asks why he has texted her, he warns her, "I want you to listen carefully what I'm about to say, and please don't interrupt me until I finish."

She gulps and starts to feel scared with his tone, "Su-Sure"

He clasps his hands behind his back and begins, "I believe we should cancel our weekly encounters." She opens her mouth, but he goes on, "Our conversations are becoming more and more inappropriate at each occasion. I have disrespect you, Leonard and Amy with my sex confessions and so have you. I've came to conclusion that our private lives shouldn't be discussed with anyone besides our respective partners."

They keep staring at each other for a long time, until she speaks, "Alright, Sheldon…" she swallows back her tears, "You're right… You're always right… But just to be clear, it was you who started this… It was you who talked about masturbation, sex tips and the other stuff…" her voice rises as she loses her calm, "It was you who had a huge boner, sitting on my couch last Saturday… It was you who kissed me all over my face and called me…" she wants to slap his face, "You know what!"

"Oh, it was all my fault then?" he argues, his cheeks flushed and mouth trembling, "Why did you wear that blue dress? Why did you tell me about your desire for rough sex? And why are you so close to your husband now?"

"What?" she can't believe he just said that, "Why do you care if I'm closer to Leonard? He is my husband!"

"That's enough, Penny…" he is about to walk away, but she grasps his arm.

"No, you can't just drop the bomb and leave…" she releases his arm and tries, at least at this time, to speak the whole truth, "Sheldon… Be honest with me and I promise I'll be honest with you…" a shaky breath escapes from her mouth, "Are you attracted to me?"

He gazes into his eyes and the world seems to stop around her. "Yes. Very much."

No more lies. "I'm attracted to you too."

"Since when?" he asks as they sit on the curb.

"I guess… After that day you slept in my apartment when the guys went to Vegas… You looked so handsome lying on my bed…" she sighs, running her fingers through her hair, "But after the last weeks it has become stronger… And you?"

He pats his knees nervously, "Since the first day… When you said 'Hi'…"

She closes her eyes, feeling so happy and sad at the same time, "And why didn't you do anything?"

"As I said before, I wasn't interested in pursuing a romantic relationship… And Leonard has always had a big crush on you…"

She understands that. He's a loyal friend and wouldn't do anything to betrayal his buddy. "So, to resume, we're both attracted to each other. Big deal…" she snorts and looks down, "We're not in love or something like that."

"And it is normal to feel this way about your friends? Isn't a taboo?"

His cluelessness is so shocking, she wants to laugh and cuddle him, "Normal? Maybe not… But it can happen… We're not having an affair, we're not cheating… We just… have sexual desires for each other… We won't cross the line." She looks back at him, "I would never hurt Amy or Leonard… We're not that kind of people."

She touches his hand and he flinches as she notices some bruises on his fingers. "Oh! How did you hurt your hand?"

"I… I had a small tantrum."

"Did you hit someone?"

He smiles sadly, "A wall."

"Why?" she turns to him fully and holds his palm, examining his knuckles.

"I was having a bad day…" he simply answers.

They stay quiet, just observing the stars above them, her hand still caressing his. If things were different, they would be an awesome couple, she muses. She would be lucky to land a fella like him. No, no, no, don't go there, Penny. "Leonard is waiting for me…" she whispers and they both stand up. "Are we still friends?"

He pauses, studying her face and apologizes, "Yes. I'm sorry if I was rude to you… I was confused about my… my thoughts about you."

"Okay… I know we aren't very good at expressing emotions, but I'm glad we had this talk. You can tell me anything and I'll do the same. See? I feel better now."

"Me too."

She extends her hand to him, expecting a hearty handshake, but he hugs her and kisses her cheek, "Good night, faithful wife of Odysseus…" he says playfully and she is certain they will never be apart again. "Are you going to the gala tomorrow?"

"Of course… Good night, Dr. Cooper..." she grins and walks to her home with a strange, but wonderful feeling in her heart.

xxx

President Siebert is still making his long and monotonous speech as he looks at the two empty chairs beside him. Leonard and Penny should be here a long time ago. "Amy?" he leans closer to his fiancée, "Did you text Penny? Where are they?"

She whispers in his ear, "Yes… But she didn't reply my messages…"

When he is about to call Leonard, he sees them walking into the hall. His mouth goes dry instantly. Penny is wearing a long black halter neck dress and when she turns slightly to adjust Leonard's tie, he notices the deep back cleavage that exposes a lot of skin. He almost gasps and gulps his champagne down in one go. "Penny! You look like a goddess!" Amy exclaims as they sit at the table.

"Thanks Amy… I love your dress too; you look great in red…" Penny smiles at her and pinches Sheldon's leg under the table. "Hi…" she grins at him.

He clears his throat, "Good evening. Why are you so late?"

Leonard and Penny share a dirty look and he responds, "We were… busy…" he blushes.

Amy winks at her and Penny seems uncomfortable, lowering her head and picking a glass. His rage is back again, but this time he controls it better, as an unruly revenge plan formulates itself in his head. She must be punished for this, his blind jealous (and slightly inebriated) brain insists.

After the dinner, the dance floor was open and a lot of couples sway to the romantic tunes played by a pianist. "Sheldon?" Amy touches his arm, "May I have this dance?" she asks with a seductive smile that he finds irresistible. He stands up, taking her hand and guides them to the floor. She leans her head on his chest as he places his hands on her waist, dangerously close to her buttocks. Looking up at him, she smirks and teases, "We're in public…" one hand traces the curve of her ass as she moans softly, "Sheldon…" He puts his mouth on her neck, kissing and discreetly licking her soft skin, dropping little pecks until he reaches her mouth and without warning, slides his tongue past her lips. Amy whimpers and he holds her close, deepening the kiss, nipping on her bottom lip and she pulls away, staring at him with half-lidded eyes, "Hoo!" she jokes and they both laugh as she wraps her arms around his neck. He kisses her hair and looks ahead, only to see a red-faced Penny glaring at him. This is what you get when you mess with me, Penny. They keep slow dancing as the blonde don't take her angry eyes of him, while the pianist stops and announces he will be back in ten minutes.

"I have to go to the ladies room…" Amy explains, kissing his shoulder, "I'll be back soon."

He nods and goes back to the table, sitting beside Penny. Leonard immediately turns to him, "Wow! I thought you two would… you know…" he says excitedly.

"What can I say, Leonard?" Sheldon, wipes his mouth with a napkin and glances mischievously at Penny, "Sometimes we need to show a woman who is the boss."

Leonard gapes at him and Penny flags the waiter for another glass while Amy sits closer to her fiancé and suggests, "Do you want to go home?" He pats her hand, "Do you? This party turned out to be surprisingly amusing…" he looks at the actress, "Don't you think, Penny?"

She bites her lip and answers, "Yes. Very amusing… It's so much fun that I can barely handle it."

He is aware why she chose the word 'handle'. Maybe she is curious about if she can handle a part of him that is lengthening at this very moment.

"No I don't want to leave…" Amy explains, caressing his arm, "I haven't talked to Bernadette yet."

Leonard adds, "Me too. Where's Howard?"

Amy looks around and sees the tiny blonde waving at them, "Oh, they're at that table hidden by the stage… That's why we haven't seen them…" she proposes, "Let's go there, Leonard. Maybe they can sit with us."

They both rise up and walk to their friends, leaving Sheldon and Penny in an uncomfortable silence. He can see by the corner of his eye, she is tapping the table with her red fingernails. He refills his glass and offers her more champagne; without looking at him, she raises her glass and thanks him dryly. She drinks it on a big gulp and a small drop falls from the corner of her mouth. He observes her while she catches it with her finger and sucks the digit into her mouth, now staring at him with wild dilated green eyes. "Hummm…" she sighs, "This is the best taste in the world…"

He can't take this anymore. The games, the teasing, the temptation. Screw the truce from last night, the guilty that will torment him for the rest of her life, all the implications they'll have to face. "Penny."

She eyes him innocently, "Yes?"

"My office is forty feet from here. I have the key in my wallet. If you accompany me there I will prove that your last statement is wrong."

He watches with enormous pleasure as her nipples harden through the thin fabric of her dress. Her sweet breath hovers over his face when she asks, "What is wrong about my statement?"

His eyes are fixed on hers, "I bet a million of dollars that you taste better than this cheap beverage."

She closes her eyes, leaning back on the chair, evidently reluctant with his suggestion. A few minutes pass and she replies with a resigned expression, "Let's go."

No, he doesn't want to force her to do anything against her will. Her body is shaking and he thinks she is about to cry, "Penny… I'm sorry… I'm acting like a pervert, if you don't-"

She grips his arm almost painfully and speaks with gritted teeth, "When Leonard was fucking me earlier, I was thinking about you. I have lost count of how many times I have masturbated picturing your big dick inside me. Take me to your damn office!"

He is shocked with her words and the urgency in her voice. Taking a deep breath, he must find a way to sneak out of the hall or provides a justification for their departure. Penny is faster. "They're talking to Howard and Bernadette. If we go now, they won't realize we're missing… If they call us, we can say we went for a walk… whatever…" she mutters while scraping her fingernails along his inner thigh.

They stand up slowly, avoiding the attention of the people around them and walk with quick steps through the crowded dancing floor, reaching the hallway in a few seconds. They don't share glances or exchange words; both afraid that a simple action will ruin the events about to happen. He opens the door quietly and they enter his office while Penny turns on the lights. "No!" he immediately turns off the switch, "All the offices should be empty… We can't turn on the lights…" he whispers.

"Sorry…" she leans against the door and he is glad that a faint moonlight streams through the window. He can see her, how beautiful and aroused she is. For him. He places both hands on each side of her face and is almost touching her lips when she leans away with a playful smile.

"What?" he pants. This is not the time for teasing.

She drops her clutch on the floor and gently pushes him away from her. He frowns with confusion, but his face changes to pure lust when she sits on his desk, lifts her dress, pulls her panties aside and sticks two fingers inside herself. He shuts his eyes tight, afraid to climax with the sight of her doing this, but nothing else matters as she places those wet fingers on his lips and he groans, sucking them hungrily. "So… Was I wrong?" she says while watching him. Oh Penny, so wrong, he thinks. He licks them clean until there is not taste of her anymore, "You… you…" he doesn't know what to say and when his hand cups her pussy, her phone rings on her clutch. They stop, sharing a frustrated look and she hops down to answer it.

"Hi… We're coming back… Sheldon was showing me… the campus… Okay, bye." She turns to him breathing heavily, "It was Leonard. We have to go."

He would kill a man just to make her come on his tongue. But he can't. Not now. She straightens her hair and pouts at him, "Let's go."

Taking two steps, he grabs her waist and whispers against her mouth, "Before we go… I must… give you this." He kisses her hard, crashing his body with hers as she raises her leg and places it on his hip. They grind against each other, he pulls her hair, she palms his erection firmly, he gropes her ass roughly and she tears her mouth from his only to bite his earlobe and groans, "Sheldon… You… you…" She also has the same loss of words he has experienced moments ago. And he understands why. _This_ was what he has seen in books, movies, cheesy love songs: the passion he detects in her eyes, the same passion that strikes him now. Oh. So, he simply mumbles, caressing her face, eyes glued to hers, "No. You… You." She smiles, pecks his lips one more time and unlocks the door. A cold air blows against his face and he realizes that nothing will ever be the same again. She squeezes his hand and grins, "Us." He grins back at her and reasons: if it feels so right, it can't be wrong.


	6. Trapped

_"__A stranger's light comes on slowly, a stranger's heart without a home_

_You put your hands into your head and then smiles cover your heart." Mazzy Star, __Fade Into You_

* * *

The stupid mockingbird is still out of tune, but he doesn't care; he looks at his whiteboard, but the formulas seem bizarre to him. Sheldon glances at his desk and smiles again. He's been doing this all day: staring at it and caressing the spot. The spot where she was on with her legs open, exhibiting her vagina to him. He sighs as he remembers her sweet strong taste in his mouth, licking his lips, whishing there was some residual flavor left, not only from her sex, but from her mouth – her perfect, delicious, soft mouth. Since Friday, his mind is occupied with her, only her. The guilt and regret he had expected to feel haven't come yet, not for a second; not even when he had sex with Amy yesterday, when Leonard greeted him cheerfully today or when he talked to his mother on the phone this morning. He is a better liar than he thought he would be, maybe because he has been lying to himself all these years. A knock on his door drifts him from his thoughts.

"Come in."

Leonard enters his office and tiredly asks, "Can I work here tonight?"

Sheldon frowns, "Why? Your experiment isn't over yet?"

"No…" he cleans his glasses with his shirt, "Kripke and I will have to finish the report and some of his essays are here… He has some combined works with you and we will have to use it."

"But why do you have to work in here?"

"Because I don't want do go back and forth from here to Kripke's office. Please, Sheldon. I'm already worn out… I won't disorder your precious things…" Leonard pleads.

"Okay… But only for tonight."

"Yes! I'll be back to my normal schedule on Wednesday! No more work nights!" He cheers and leaves.

As soon as he walks out, Sheldon considers something: this is the last night Penny will be alone in her apartment. He taps his fingers on his chin, thinking about how they can spare this free time. After all, he has pathological need for closure: he must finish what he has started. Looking down, he sees an erection beginning to grow inside his plaid pants. At the same time, he is apprehensive about speaking with her; they had no interactions since that night. Is she remorseful about what happened? Should he text her? Perhaps she will reject him. His penis wins the battle as he calls her, locks the door and sits on his chair. "Hello?"

"Sheldon?" she seems happy, "How… how are you?"

He grins, his worries disappearing from his head just by the sound of her silky voice, "I'm well… Am I interrupting something?"

"No, I'm at my dressing-room, waiting for my next scene… Are you at Caltech?"

"Yes…" he squeezes the head of his cock, "Looking at my desk…"

He can hear a small moan/gasp and she says, "Are you thinking of me?"

"All the time…" he knows it's tacky, but is the truth.

"Me too… I can't sleep since that night… What are you gonna do about it?"

He groans, grabbing some tissues and unbuttons his pants, "I can get you into bed…" he strokes himself slowly, "When I'm done with you, I'm sure you'll achieve a peaceful sleep…"

She is quiet for a few seconds until she whispers, "Can you come over tonight? Leonard will-"

"I know, Penny…" he spreads pre-cum on his shaft and tightens his grip, "That's why I'm calling you…"

"Great… Dou you want me to shave for you?"

He moans as the vision of the thin landing strip of hair on her pubic mound flashes in his brain, "No… live it like that… Oh Penny, Penny…" his hips buck and he ejaculates on his hand.

"Did you just…?"

"Yeah…" he sighs softly, cleaning himself, "I'll be there around seven…"

"Okay, but don't waste your load… save it for me… Bye, Sheldon…" she giggles and hangs up.

He leans against his chair with a huff. It's not a waste when I'm doing this because of you, he thinks.

xxx

Penny had never been so nervous regarding a sexual encounter as she is right know. She is about to have sex with Sheldon Cooper; her old neighbor, crazy wackadoodle, her husband's best friend. Cheating on him (or anyone) wasn't on her life plans. She knows too well the feeling of devastation at a betrayal: Kurt, Tom and others assholes did that to her. What she didn't expect was this compulsion, this urge blinding her principles at every time she thinks about him. But she won't hurt Leonard or Amy: this is going to be a one-time thing. Nobody will ever know about this "affair" besides them. After she satisfies her curiosity about Sheldon's performance, they'll go on with their lives. They'll have to. The fledgling bond beginning to grow in her heart has to be nipped in the bud now, before they… they… whatever.

The three knocks are almost inaudible and she all but jumps from the couch, straightening her red strapless dress, praying to someone above, "I'm so sorry."

"Good evening, Penny…" he beams, "You look beautiful."

She gestures for him to enter the living room. "Thank you Sheldon…" her hands are shaking when she locks the door, then turns to him with a smile, "Can I offer something?"

He leers at her legs shamelessly. "Can you?"

She says nothing, just clasps their hands warmly and heads them to the bedroom. Two lamps illuminate the room and they sit on the bed, facing each other, his fingers caressing her cheek as hers remain at her sides. "Penny…" he whispers, leaning his mouth closer to her lips and swipes his tongue over them, earning a groan from her. She does the same and he bites her tongue softly, forcing her mouth even more open as the kiss deepens and she wonders where the hell did he learn to kiss like this. He runs his hands along her back, drawing her closer to him, squishing her chest against his and she straddles his lap, grinding her hips against the bulge in his pants. He grabs her ass with both hands, controlling her pelvis, his mouth now on her neck, nipping at her skin while she whimpers, "Oh God…" Suddenly, he lays her on the sheets, pushes her dress down to her waist, uncovering her breasts and cups one in his hand, lightly touching the nipple. "Do you like this?" he asks, pinching the hard nub. "Yes…" she murmurs and gazes at him as he suckles it on his mouth. He switches to the other and she is almost regretting her decision of making this a one-night stand. "I love your breasts, Penny…" he grins while gently scraping his teeth on her nipple, "They're perfect…" She just stares at him, unable to articulate a word. With little bites and licks, he slides her dress further and gasps when sees she isn't wearing underwear. Now it's her turn to smirk at his startled face. "Do you like this?"

He growls and throws the dress away, spreading her knees with one hand while the other traces her outer lips slowly, parting them to expose her to him. Leaning forward, he looks at her eyes before runs his tongue up and down her slit until he reaches her clit and sucks hard on it, nibbling carefully. "Oh… Oh…" she moans, grabbing his head, "Like that… like that…" He lifts his head, eyes dark, chin glistening with her juices and voice hoarse, "How many fingers do you want?" She closes her eyes and is certain she had never been this aroused before. "Two… start with two…" He obeys and inserts them inside her wet opening as her hips rise to meet his hand, a smile on his face when his fingertips find her G-spot and he rubs it firmly while his tongue lap at her clit steadily. She props herself on her elbows to watch him, biting her lip, unable to hold it anymore. "Sheldon…" he adds another finger, "Sheldon… I'm gonna… Don't stop… Sheldon…" When his hand pinches her nipple again, she's gone: A loud "GOD!" echoes in the bedroom and she comes hard, his long arms trying to contain her tremors as her legs encircle his back.

She is still floating, her mind detached from her body, just little earthquakes tingling her insides when she feels his mouth against her pussy again. What? She sits up, leaning against the headboard as his lips follow her. "Sheldon?" Blue eyes peek up, one eyebrow lifted, "May I clean you up?" he asks and waits, licking her inner lips, "I can't get enough of your taste…" She moans loudly and put her hands over her face, silently giving her consent. He wiggles his tongue inside her, savoring her remaining arousal and eagerly swallows the new streams gushing from her, avoiding her tender clit. After a few minutes, she is right there one more time and he circles her clit with his thumb, lips attached to her slit – this orgasm is stronger than the last; she doesn't have the strength to scream, she just shudders, her hands clutching at the sheets tightly as a satisfied sigh flees from her mouth, "Oh Sheldon…"

He sits, caressing her thighs, waiting for her to recover and she opens her eyes, leaning to kiss him, but he retracts, wiping his mouth and chin self-consciously. She slaps his hands away, "I don't care… Just kiss me…" With a grunt, he grabs her head and sticks his tongue into her mouth, her own taste exciting her more, "Sheldon…" she whispers when their lips part, "Take off your clothes…" He grins, pulling his shirts over his head and tossing it somewhere on the floor, removes his shoes and socks, then gets out of the bed and starts to unbuckle his belt. She kneels on the mattress, helping him, unzipping his pants and biting her bottom lip at the sight of his strained dick leaping inside his briefs. Thank God I'm dripping wet, she recognizes. _This_ could cause some damage to her lady parts, she adds to herself. He slides down his last article of clothing, his cock springing free and rocking slightly, twitching in time with his pulse. Perfection, your name is Sheldon Lee Cooper. When she's almost touching it, he grasps her wrist, and orders, "Lie down, Penny." She shivers at his tone of voice and rests her body on the rumpled sheets, legs wide open, head on the pillow, eyeing him impatiently.

"Do you want to use a condom?" Her answer is immediate, "No… I'm disease free and on the pill. Besides, I want to feel you, all of you." She sees the relief on his features as he gets on top of her and mumbles against her lips, "Me too." They kiss again, and she positions his tip at her entrance, breathing heavily. He leaves her mouth, his hands framing her face and gazes into her eyes before pushing inside her slowly, allowing her walls to accommodate his length. Holy. Crap. "Sheldon… wait… wait…" she whimpers, placing her hands on his chest, "Let me… oh shit…" He stops immediately, "What's wrong?" She moves her hips in circular motions, keeping her thighs together as possible, feeling her skin stretching around his penis. The sensation is both painful and wonderful, and when she senses she's ready, her hands grip his butt, "You're huge… but go on…" she jokes, "I can handle it." He groans and bites her neck, thrusting harder and deeper, her legs now wrapped around his waist until he hits a spot she didn't know she had it, and oh dear God, she's coming again, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!", she shouts over and over, her body convulsing beneath his.

He pecks her lips, his face surprised, "Again?" he smirks, seemly proud of himself. And he should be. It has been a long time since she climaxed like that; it usually happens when she is in love with the guy. Yes Penny, you're literally screwed, she concludes. "Turn over…" he commands, pulling out of her, already manipulating her body to face the bed, raising her hips towards him, her elbows supporting her weight. A long lick from her clit to her perineum makes her tremble and beg, "Please…" He spanks her ass hard in retaliation and she hisses with delight. "Don't interrupt me, Penny." With a gulp, she just nods, lowering her head. "What do you want?" he demands, sliding the head of his dick along her slippery folds. She moans, "Hit me again." Another rough slap strikes her bottom and she mewls, lifting her ass to him. She thinks she'll go mad with desire if he doesn't enter her right now and a soft bite on her hip just increases her hunger. With a smooth thrust, he is right where she wants him. He alternates between brutal plunges and smacks on her rear for minutes, until a pull on her hair brings her entire body molding with his, and he whispers in her ear, "You're so tight, Penelope…" one hand plays with her clit while his arm encloses her breasts, "Now, be a good girl and come for me." She does. And this is the most powerful sensation she has ever experienced; it's like an explosion followed by warm waves soaking her body. All around her is white for a moment, then her vision focuses, she distantly hears a groan and she feels the quivering heat of him coming inside her.

She collapses on the bed with him still on top of her. At some point, his penis softens and slips out, but he stays right there with his fingers entwined with hers, his breath harsh on her neck. Surrounded by him, she understands they can't be apart, not now. They need time to assimilate what has just transpired between them, so she brings their joined arms to her chest and he gives her a sigh of approval. Several minutes later, he rolls off her, pulls her closer and she snuggles on his chest, her hand caressing his hipbone with slow circles. The silence is making her slightly nervous; Sheldon never keeps his mouth shut, why is he so quiet? Seconds later, he proves her they connection is stronger than she has supposed. "I don't have words to precisely describe my thoughts right now, but believe when I say that I had never had a more pleasurable experience in my life." She agrees with him without words because she is scared. She doesn't trust herself to speak. They just fall asleep together. It's safest this way.

x

He opens his eyes slowly and the first thing he notices are long blond curls splayed all over his chest. It wasn't a dream then, he perceives, smiling to himself. She snores softly, sometimes unconsciously clutching his forearm, like preventing him from escape. He can't; he is trapped, imprisoned by the sweet smelling woman in his arms. And the funny thing is - he wants to be. Nothing can be compared to what they shared tonight. Sex has been enjoyable before, but this… this… is more, so much more. He had memorable moments with his fiancée, of course. Despite her inexperience, Amy is very enthusiastic, always eager to please him, like in any other aspect of their relationship. She is a solicitous, attentive, kind partner. He is a callous egomaniac, selfish, uncaring husband-to-be. Now he is also a cheater. Maybe they aren't compatible as everybody says. He rubs his eyes, sighing; Amy deserves better, he was right about this statement years ago and now it makes even more sense.

"Sheldon?" Penny lifts her head to look at him, "What time is it?" He kisses her forehead and replies, "It's almost nine." She disentangles herself from him, stretches her arms and turns to face him, their noses almost bumping, "Do you have to go?" Her voice is sad, anxious; it brings to him an unusual urge to protect her. "Not now…" he murmurs before kisses her for long minutes. When it's over, he is fully erect again and grows even harder as she grasps him tightly, her thumb teasing the tip of his cock, causing his hips to arch helplessly into her caresses. She grins, laying his body fully on the bed and bites his nipples, then goes lower, licking his belly button, pecking his hip bones as her hand restlessly strokes his dick. He just moans faintly, fascinated by the way her body moves, so attractively and purposefully. She places herself between his knees and fondles his balls with enough pressure to make him groan, "Penny! Oh…" When her tongue replaces her fingers, his hips bucks involuntarily, "Penny…" She glances up at him, "Do you like that, Sweetie?" All he can do is nod and she continues, now moving up and licking his shaft from top to bottom, laving her tongue over the ridge before engulfs the head in her mouth. "Angh… oh… oh dear…" he pants while she takes more of him, almost touching her lips on his pubic bone. His tip brushes the back of her throat and she hums as every cell in his body seems to come alive, "Stop!" She slips his penis out of her mouth, furrowing her eyebrows, "Didn't you like it?" He pulls her back onto him by her shoulders, hands greedily exploring the naked curve of her waist, eyes fixed on hers, "I was going to ejaculate…" She smiles, "And isn't this the purpose of… coitus?" He laughs and sucks on her earlobe before says lustfully, "I want to feel your… p-pussy again…" He hates this word, but it is the only one that fits at this moment.

She kisses the tip of his nose before straddles his hips, stroking him a few times before sinks on his cock with a gasp. His hands knead her breasts as she begins her slow sensual dance, back and forth, bracing herself on his thighs, her head throwing back, small whimpers at each of his up thrusts. His fingers go to her clit again, massaging the hard flesh with quick movements and she grunts, her hips coming down harder. He needs to hold her, to feel the little shocks running through her body, so he sits upright pressing her against him, their foreheads touching, his arms wrapped around her back until she places her hands on each side of his face, leaning his head back slightly to look directly at his eyes and admits something he already knows, "Sheldon… I…" she rides him faster, "I lo… love… you…" her internal muscles clench around him tightly and she peaks again, her mouth biting his shoulder. They stop moving, despite his hard dick twitching inside of her. He just combs his fingers through her wet hair, wishing they had done this nine years ago. It would be easier. Or maybe not. Right now, he tugs her locks gently, her face in front of his when he whispers, "I love you too, Penelope." She pulses around him again, an involuntary reaction to her name, he muses. He notices she wants to say something, but he hugs her, mumbling in her ear, "I know… I know…" He _does_ know. She just scratches her fingernails down his back, licking the sweat on his shoulder. He envisions destruction, misery, heartaches and awful repercussions in their future. But when she kisses his mouth desperately again, he also sees satisfaction, faith, promises and above it all, hope. Breaking the kiss abruptly, she asks against his lips, "Are you close?"

"Yes…"

"Finish in my mouth."

His eyes widen and he stutters, "B-but do you… Are you com-comfortable with this?"

She climbs out of his lap, turning his body to the edge of bed and kneels on the floor between his legs, "I'm comfortable with you." The next thing he feels is her mouth sucking his penis again, her head bobbing up and down furiously. He has always found the idea of his semen in someone's mouth disgusting, but when her fingers close around the base of his cock, he changes his mind, staring down at her while she strokes him and her tongue flattens against the glistening head, "Oh… Yes… Peee-ny!" he thrusts into her mouth once, twice and then comes with a chocked cry. She swallows his release then swipes her tongue along his length, softly cleaning him. He pants, observing her, amazed with her technique and tenderness, caressing her face. "Before you ask, your taste is delicious…" she laughs, standing on her feet, her belly almost touching his face. He kisses her stomach, murmuring, "You're an astonishing creature, Penny."

"Let's take a shower?" she suggests, patting his head.

He nods and they go to the bathroom, the same bathroom from where he used to hear her screams of pleasure while having intercourse with Leonard. Those screams are nowhere near as good as the ones she shouted tonight, he smiles to himself. They have sex one more time, in the shower; she is pressed against the tiles, legs wrapped around his waist while his mouth is hot and insistent on hers.

"I have to leave… I told Amy I would watch a lecture… It's almost midnight…" he tells her after they're both dressed, making out on the couch.

"Okay… Let me call a cab for you…" she sighs.

He waits, staring at her mouth while she talks, desiring nothing more than another hour with her. Or a day, a week, a month… perhaps an entire life. What she had done to him?

"Hey…" she touches his thigh, "Where are you?"

"I'm here… just thinking about…" he won't lie, "You."

She grins and they kiss until the cab arrives. They walk to the door and before he opens it, he turns to her, looking straight to her dilated eyes, "I want to… see you again… Do you?" Say "yes" or I'll go insane, Penny.

"Of course, Sheldon… As soon as possible…" she reassures, hugging him, "No matter what…" her lips soon return to his.

"Penny… I have to go…" he smirks into her mouth, "The cab is waiting…"

She bites his bottom lip and smacks his butt, earning a glare from him. "Bye, Sheldon… Text me when you get home."

"Alright… Good night, Penny."

Inside the cab, he already sends her a message, _"Sleep well, Penelope."_ He knows he will.


	7. Life Is Too Short

**Author's note: I can't say how sorry I am for taking so long to update this fic. I've been busy planning my wedding, but now I'm back to the Shenny world!**

* * *

_"__I have loved to the point of madness; that which is called madness, that which to me, is the only sensible way to love." Francois Sagon_

* * *

"Sheldon, while we're waiting for dessert, I want to inform you something." Amy says while wiping her mouth with a napkin.

It's Date Night and they are at a Thai restaurant they both love. The evening is pleasing; he listened to her talk about new experiments on gorillas and he explained to her the new project he's been working on. From time to time his eyes drift to the window as he remembers the events of four days ago. The night that shifted everything he has ever believed. He still can feel the softness of her skin, her strong and unique scent, her hoarse voice when she screamed his name over and over. But the most significant thing was her vulnerable face when she said she loved him. And he said it back because at that moment it was true. Now, in front of his fiancée, he is sure that it is true, real and it fells right, so right he can cry of happiness and regret right now.

"Sheldon?" Amy touches his forearm, "Aren't you listening to me?"

He looks back at her face, her kind and innocent face and his throat goes dry, "Yes… I'm sorry. What are you going to inform me about?"

She smiles, "My mother has found a beautiful place for our wedding. It's a mansion of a friend of hers, Stella. Her husband died a few months ago and she's planning to sell the propriety, but she said we can have the ceremony there. What do you think?"

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. After a few awkward seconds, he asks, "That… that is good Amy…" he sips his water, "But don't we have to set a date?"

"Stella gave us five months to make the arrangements. So… what about late October?"

No, no, no, he wants to scream and immediately try to find some reason to delay _this_, but his brain refuses to cooperate. "It's acceptable..." he simply agrees. He's a coward, he knows that, and hates himself for embracing her suggestion without complaints. But she deserves a wedding, a beautiful wedding, as Penny said. And she'll have one. Nothing else matters.

Later, after having sex with Amy, he takes a shower and texts from inside the bathroom: "I miss you. Have a wonderful night, Penelope." When he's fully dressed in his pajamas and opening the bathroom door, she replies as his heart skips a beat when he reads, "I miss all of you. Good night, my sweet genius." He goes to bed and dreams with a blonde surrounded by boxes in a living room. At least in this dream, he claims her first.

xxx

They meet again at Emily's birthday party in her apartment. Penny drinks her third glass of wine and looks at her watch impatiently. He should be here already, she thinks. Bernadette interrupts her thoughts, "I would kill for a glass of wine!"

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie…" Penny pats her head, "Two weeks, Bernadette… two more weeks and Naomi will come."

The short blonde smiles and caresses her belly, "I can't wait to see her little face… And I'm tired of looking like a small whale!"

"What? You're beautiful!"

Bernadette laughs and sits closer to her, almost whispering, "And you?"

Penny knows what she's talking about, but frowns, "Me what?"

"Do you want to have babies? I bet Leonard would be a wonderful father."

She crosses her legs, looking at everywhere but at her friend and answers, "We're not ready yet… I'm not sure if I want kids…"

Noticing her discomfort with the topic, Bernadette changes it, "Where is Sheldon?"

Penny plays with her hair, "I don't know… Maybe Amy is having trouble with her make-up or something…"

"Oh, Amy is not coming tonight; she had an emergency at the lab, the poor thing… "

A small smile appears on her lips. She doesn't know why, but the image of them entering the party together as a couple makes her slightly nauseated. Penny excuses herself and tells Leonard she is going to take a breath of fresh air in the beautiful roof garden. When she gets there, bottle of wine in hand, she observes the flowers and muses about her love life: Amy is her friend, Leonard is her husband and Sheldon in now her lover. A few years ago, she wouldn't have been able to imagine this bizarre scenario. No one ever would. As the warm wind blows on her face, she tries to figure out a way to escape from this mess before someone else gets hurt, because she already is. "I'm in my thirties, I should be smarter!" she mutters to herself and takes a big gulp of wine. Sitting on a bench, she loses track of time, admiring the dark sky and counting the tiny stars. "Boo!" a low voice whispers in her ear and she almost drops the bottle, but a large hand grabs it before it hits the floor.

"Sheldon!" she places her hand over her heart, "You scared me!"

He says nothing, just sits beside her and stares at her with a warm expression. Before she realizes what's going on, he cups her face and kisses her hard for long minutes. When she finally pulls away, he pants against her lips, "I'm sorry."

She grins and caresses his chest, playfully tugging at his tie, "If you do that again, I'll kill you!"

"Scare you or kiss you?" he smirks and chases her mouth again, but she stops him.

"Wait, wait… What if someone sees us?"

"Penny, Penny, Penny... Our friends are too drunk to go up here… And it's dark … We can stop anytime…" his thumb circles her hard nipple, "Let me do this… please…" he traces the outline of her panties with his fingers before slides one into her.

All she can do is moan and open her legs wider for him. This is immoral, but it feels so good, she almost forgets her early worries and gives herself into his touch, always glancing at the closed door, only shutting her eyes when he finds her G-spot and her hips rise up several times as his other hand leaves her breast to cover her mouth. "Shhhh…" he groans softly in her neck, biting the sweaty flash. Suddenly, he tilts her head to look directly at her; his face is serious and at this moment, she recognizes her dominant Sheldon. "Penny… Don't you dare to close your eyes… And come. Now!" he orders and adds two more fingers, pumping them faster inside her until she reaches her climax, grabbing his arm hard enough to leave bruises.

When she recovers her senses, he is still staring at her with a smug smile. "You are even more beautiful during orgasm… I could watch you repeatedly. And someday I will." Some unwelcome tears sting her eyes and blur her vision after his promise, a promise that probably won't be fulfilled. She kisses him softly, silently telling him she wants this and so, so much more. He leaves her mouth and pecks her nose. "We should go back to the party." She nods, straightens her strapless dress and stands up, taking his hand as they pass the door and walk down the stairs. Before they enter the apartment, she turns him to face her, "Thank you for… You know."

"You're welcome, Penelope."

Her insides clench again at the mention of her full name. She is surely doomed. "I'm going to the bathroom and if someone asks, you say we were in the garden, ok?"

"Of course. I won't be lying – we were in the garden…" he jokes, "I just won't tell them what we were doing."

Penny rolls her eyes and touches his shoulder, "And Sheldon… I owe you one." She winks and laughs at his small grunt.

xxx

"I love when you come to visit me…" Leonard kisses her and gropes her ass, "We can spare my lunch time inside here, if you want."

Her intention is spending this time in another office, but she won't tell this to her husband. "No, no… I have to go… I have photo shoot at 3…" she adjusts his glasses, "I have to go… You know how the L.A. traffic is…"

Leonard makes a face, but agrees with her. "Ok… I'll see you at home then."

"Bye, Leonard." She kisses him one more time and leaves, walking on the halls, trying to remember where Sheldon's office is. After asking the directions to the janitor, she knocks on his door, "Sheldon…"

He opens it with a smile that makes her legs weaken. "Hello, Penny. What took you so long?"

She enters the room as he locks the door, "I was in Leonard's office…" She notices a little pout on his lips. "I had to go there…" He nods and she hugs him tightly, kissing his cheek as her arms encircle his neck. His frame is stiff, tense and when she looks at his face, he seems angry. "What?" she asks and takes a step back.

"I can smell him on you," he retorts dryly and sits on his chair, placing his hands on the desk. "Did you have sex with him? In his office?"

She huffs, "No! He just hugged me! What's the matter with you?"

"Please lower your voice, Penny…" he stares at her with disappointed eyes, "This is not an appropriate place for this kind of behavior."

His jealousy makes her even hornier, so she walks to him swinging her hips and leans against his desk in front of him, "Really?" she unbuttons her shirt to reveal a black lace bra, "Because I remember what we did in this very office a few weeks ago… Was that appropriate?" She looks down at his pants and notices his erection beginning to grow. "Close the blinds, Sheldon."

He does it and when he turns to her, she is pushing her skirt down, but he stops her, "Leave it on."

The moisture between her legs increases as he grabs her by the waist and bends her over the desk, roughly ripping her thong off, quickly finding her wet center. "You're so wet…" he acknowledges and starts to rub her clit slowly, teasing her.

"Fuck, Sheldon… Just fuck me…" she pleads as her body trembles against his hand. In a blink of an eye, he sinks his full length inside her and she lets out a small gasp, holding herself on her elbows, tilting her head back, and takes her lower lip between her teeth to not groan loudly. He pulls out, almost all the way, then completely, and she whines, already missing him inside of her. "Don't stop, please…" He pushes harder this time and starts a brutal rhythm, pounding into her faster and faster until her walls tighten around him; her climax hitting her by surprise, "Oh my G-God! Sheldon!" A few more thrusts and he joins her, moaning her name in a way that causes her heart to melt and her head dizzy.

When she turns to him, he kisses her languidly, then smiles, "Are you satisfied?"

She laughs, buttoning her shirt, "Very much…" she looks at her thong on the floor, "But you have to buy me new underwear!"

"Sorry… I was… overwhelmed by your undergarments…" he looks shy as his cheeks redden, "I have a thing for lace."

"Really? I should wear it more often…" she bites his earlobe softly.

He groans and kisses her again, caressing her breast and pulling her close. "Shel… Sheldon I have to go… I have a-"

"A photo shoot, I know…" he opens a drawer and picks a box of tissues, "Let me clean you…" and kneels on the floor, gently sweeping her tender folds. None of her lovers had ever done that to her; but let's face it, this is Sheldon, he's a clean freak. But he does it so lovely, so astonishingly intimate; she feels the need to say the same words of that night, those dangerous words. When he's done with her, he cleans himself as well and whispers to her what she wants to scream to the world, "I love you."

Don't cry Penny, she repeats inside her head and replies, "I love you too." And they kiss again, her mind going back to Bernadette's question about having kids; the answer appears in her mind now – Yes, I want to have kids, but not with my husband. She wants to carry _his_ child, a baby who would be so loved, so smart and beautiful that she can't contain a soft sob of despair against his lips. He pulls back, concerned, and asks, "Why are you crying?"

"Nothing… It's just… our situation… I wish things were different."

He holds her and mumbles into her hair, "Things _are_ different, Penny."

She wipes her tears and combs her fingers through her hair, trying to regain her self-control. This is not the time or place to discuss their relationship and she's already late. "I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok. Send me a text when you get home."

"I will. Bye, Dr. Cooper." She hugs him and lefts his office wanting nothing more than go home, watch "An Affair To Remember" and eat a full box of chocolates.

xxx

He's watching a documentary about black holes when Amy enters their apartment. It's still weird to think that this is "their" place. He misses the 4A, his spot, the game nights, the laughs. Amy's home is a little darker, sober, quieter; most of the time it's only the two of them eating, watching TV or having sex. It was tolerable at first, but now he feels somewhat annoyed by her presence.

"I have good news!" she kisses him and turns off the TV.

"Amy, I was watching that!"

"Sorry, but I need your full attention," she sits on the couch and takes his hand, "October 25."

"What are you talking about?"

"Our wedding! I took care of the papers, contacted the buffet, talked to the band and it's all set; you don't have to worry about anything. Just show up at 9 a.m."

"But… this is only three months from now…" his palms sweat and his voice cracks, "W-What about the invitations?"

"My mom is dealing with this. See, she knows…"

He can't listen what she is saying. Her mouth is moving but his mind is elsewhere, in a place where he's not engaged to anyone. That's it. He tried to delay this day, but the August 25 is mocking him, daring him to be a husband. A good husband. A husband who doesn't cheat on his wife. His breath becomes shallow and he all but runs to the bathroom. He barely has the time to lock the door before throws up in the toilet, sitting on the cold floor with his head between his hands.

"Sheldon? What's wrong?" Amy asks from outside the door.

He takes a deep breath before lies, "I ate a tuna sandwich at lunch… I believe it was rotten… I'll be out in a minute."

"Ok, I'm going to make you an herbal tea."

Her concern make his heart shrink and for a moment, he wishes to tell her the truth - that she deserves a better man, not him; that he is in love for the first time in his life, but not for her; that he is a scoundrel bastard for being unfaithful to her. But he can't do that, her world will fall apart, so as his. He will marry her because it is the right thing to do, and end his relationship with Penny, his best friend's wife. Maybe he'll eventually love Amy like he loves her. Brushing his teeth, he concludes: this is malarkey.

xxx

Raj is holding Naomi in his arms, telling her that she is beautiful like her mother. Howard agrees, "Thank God she didn't get my nose!"

All the friends laugh and the nurse discreetly shushes them. She takes the baby from Raj's arms saying it's time for her bath and the visiting hours are almost over. They all say goodbye to Bernadette and Howard and when they reach the lobby, Leonard suggests, "Let's go out for a drink? It's time to celebrate!"

After two hours, everyone is a little tipsy – Raj and Amy are dancing, Leonard and Emily are playing darts, leaving Sheldon and Penny alone at the table, sharing small glances. "I love this V.I.P. room!" Raj cheers, "Thanks for being a star, Penny!"

She laughs and blows him a kiss. Sheldon looks at her and carefully pats her hand, "I must tell you something."

"What's wrong?"

"Can we talk in private?"

"Sure… sure, there's a bathroom upstairs, we can go there."

He goes first and five minutes later, she meets him in the fancy unisex bathroom. Her face is scared, but he has to do this right now, before he kisses her and fucks her right there. "Penny… As you know, Amy and I have set our wedding date for August 25."

"I know, I'm the bridesmaid, remember?" she giggles, but he detects some bitterness in her voice.

"I've been giving some thought about our… interactions, and…" her face is anxious, like she's waiting for a slap, a punch, a stab. And he will give it to her, metaphorically of course. Out of nowhere, an image of her washing his hair in the shower flashes in his head; it was after the first time they made love. Her face was so serene and happy when she said he had baby hair and she wanted to kiss every freckle on his body. She did. Back to the present, he realizes he can't hurt this woman, the woman that makes him wake up smiling even if she's not there with him.

"And what?" she insists, playing with the hem of her blouse.

"Penny… My purpose in coming here was to break up with you…" he pauses and entwines their fingers, placing their joined hands over his heart, "But I can't."

"Why?" she murmurs as their hips touch.

"You know why… I don't want to end this… to lose you. I'm completely happy when I'm around you. And it's not about the sex, it's about everything; you bring me pleasure, confidence… I feel free, powerful…"

She lets out a relieved sigh, speaking directly in his ear, "You give me everything you said and more. I know that what we're doing is wrong, but I won't waste what I feel for you because of social conventions. You love Amy, I love Leonard, but I'm in love with you…" she frames his head between her hands, "Believe me: life is too short and I won't throw away what we have."

He kisses her, pinning her body against the wall with his, undoing her pants with urgency as she does the same with his, pushing him away briefly to take off her hills, peeling her jeans and panties down. "Come on, we don't have too much time…" she hurries him up, stroking his dick a couple times before wraps her legs around his waist, guiding him to her opening, squeezing him as he hammers into her, grunting with each thrust and just a few minutes later he senses the familiar tremors inside her. They don't kiss, just gaze into each other's eyes as a flushed Penny moans, "So close, so close…" He knows what she needs and pinches her clit delicately as she bites his shoulder, then moans, "Oh Sheldon… my Sheldon…" He thinks he will lose his mind at her last sentence and couldn't help but cry out a strangled "Fuck Penny!" as he ejaculates inside her.

He sits on the floor with her in his lap, kissing her neck and whispering tender words while she caresses his back. "I have to pee," she says after a couple of minutes, standing up to pick up her clothes.

"Go ahead, I'm going to splash some water on my face."

Before she enters the bathroom stall, she slaps his butt, "Gorgeous!"

"Penny!" he protests, but smiles to himself, washing his hands. She is right – life is too short. He can deal with his problems later.

* * *

Outside the bathroom door, a startled and disturbed Raj sighs, walking away. Maybe he drank too many beers and his brain is playing tricks on him.


	8. Erase-Rewind

_"__To hope to be made happy by love is a certain cause of grief." Marquise de Merteuil, in 'Dangerous Liaisons'_

* * *

She is enjoying a lazy Saturday alone at home, reading the latest gossip magazines, waiting for Leonard to return from a lecture, when her phone beeps. It's a text message from Raj: _"Can I come over?"_ She frowns, but replies: _"Sure."_ Raj usually spends his weekends at Emily's place. What does he want at 3 p.m. on a Saturday?

Twenty minutes later, he knocks on her door and she opens it smiling, "Hello, Raj!"

He enters the apartment without greeting her and sits on the couch with a serious face, "We need to talk about Thursday night."

She doesn't know why, but a chill runs down her spine. Raj had never spoken to her like this: coldly, almost in a rude way. Sitting beside him, she asks, "What about Thursday?"

He takes a deep breath and gives her an upset stare before starts, "I heard you two in the bathroom."

This is not happening, she yells in her brain. "H-heard who… what?"

"You and Sheldon. Having sex. In that bathroom, while your husband and his fiancée were happily chatting a few feet away."

"Look, Raj, that's not-"

"Penny!" he shouts and she feels intimidated by the anger in his voice, "Don't even start lying to me. I was drunk, but I remember clearly what I overheard. I needed to pee, but when I was about to touch the doorknob, my ears almost bled with the loud 'fucks' you two were screaming."

With her head between her hands, she doesn't have the strength to lie. She just stays quiet, looking at the floor, unable to explain why she is sleeping with him. They're in love, but this isn't a reason to destroy the lives of Leonard and Amy. Her intent was to keep this thing going with Sheldon until someday… She is not sure.

"Can I ask you a question?" Raj demands, "Why Penny?" she glances at him, reticent. "I know this was not Sheldon's idea; he's not like that. Why did you seduce him?"

"What?" Now it's her turn to snap, "I didn't seduce him. It was… is mutual… Raj…" her voice softens, "We are in love."

He scrutinizes her face, obviously doubting her statement. "Love? Penny, Sheldon isn't capable to love anyone."

"And why is he marrying her?"

"Because in his crazy, weird brain, he believes it's the right thing to do. Everybody knows that. Even her…" he pauses, organizing his thoughts, "Of course he likes her; but not as lover. When they're together, they seem like brother and sister… Until this day I can't believe he's not a virgin anymore…" he pats her arm and she's aware his next words will hurt her, "Now he's fucking you. The bridesmaid. How tacky."

She sobs, "You're right… Maybe I'm just some kind of experiment to him or something…" she stands up, pacing the living room with quivering lips, "No… He loves me too… I know he does…"

Raj hugs her and mumbles, "So… This 'thing' between you two is serious?" she nods on his shoulder, "I just… I can't believe this is happening… You and Sheldon. Who would ever thought…"

She goes to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water while Raj leans on the kitchen island, seeming less angry now. "What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, Raj… I didn't plan for this to happen… One day we were talking about our relationships and then… we slept together…"

"Penny… I'm your friend; you can trust me, just tell me what's going on. Explain to me. Please…"

They sit back on the couch and she tells him about their weekly encounters, how the kinky topics of conversation started, the night at the gala, everything. He stays quiet, widening his eyes from time to time, until he sighs, "Look, I'm not going to talk about this with anyone, not with Sheldon, Emily, Howard, no one. It's your choice to keep this thing going or stop before Leonard or Amy start getting suspicious. Believe me, Penny: happy endings are rare in real life, especially in a situation like yours. If you are discontented in your marriage; end it. Just don't lie to Leonard and your friend Amy. You're better than this."

She is. She'd prefer to die than damage these two people she loves too much. Leonard isn't the love of her life; she knows that since the beginning, but he is a good husband and most of the times, treats her like a queen. And Amy… She is so pure, so credulous. She is truly a great friend and almost worships her. The unbearable tragic truth crashes over her: as a couple, Sheldon and her don't have a chance. They are couples already.

"Raj, I appreciate that you came to talk to me first, but I need some time alone now. I have a lot of thinking to do."

They head to the door, hand in hand and before he leaves, he advises, "Be wise, ok? And I'm here for you; if you want a shoulder to cry on, a drink buddy, anything. Bye, Penny." He kisses her cheek and squeezes her hand.

She ponders about them for a long time and realizes there's only one way to finish this without any repercussions. It'll be tough, but is the only option. Stumbling to the bedroom, she opens a drawer and holds an old "Penny Blossom", caressing the petals and remembering the days when things were easier. When Leonard gets home, hours later, she's sleeping in their bed, gripping a crushed flower in her hand.

xxx

He's finishing his shower when the doorbell rings and cursing to himself, quickly puts on his robe, walking to the living room with long steps. "Penny?" he finds odd she didn't call or text him, but is more than happy to see her.

"Hello Sheldon, can I come in?" she asks, avoiding eye contact.

"Of course, please sit." He understands something is terribly wrong, but waits for what she has to say.

"No, I'm fine. I know Amy is at Bernadette's taking care of Naomi, but she can be here any minute, so I'll go straight to the point: we should stop seeing each other." His eyebrows go impossibly high in surprise and before he replies, she continues, "Raj knows."

"W-what? How does he…" he stutters, his knees wobbling.

"He heard us on Thursday. Then he went to my place yesterday to confront me." She scratches her forehead, taking a step away from him, "And I told him everything."

He sits on the couch, astonished with her words and unemotional expression, like she was talking to a stranger, not to the man she said she loves, days ago. When he opens his mouth to speak, she goes on, "Don't worry; he has promised me he won't tell anyone about us."

Should he be worried about this? Now, he doesn't care if the world knows about them; his turmoil is due the possibility of not _have_ her. "B-but why do you want to end our relationship?"

She stares at him, still emotionless, "Because I was wrong. I'm not in love with you, it was the heat of the moment. I'm not interested in you anymore."

He only cried four times in his life: at the age of ten, when his neighbors took off all of his clothes and left him in a dark alley, saying he should wait for his spaceship to collect him back; in Germany, when Missy called him telling his father was dead; years ago, when he discovered the Arctic fraud and a few weeks back, when he pictured her having amazing sex with Leonard. Now, the fifth time has come and he doesn't even bother to hide his tears as he gets out of the couch, and grabs her by her shoulders, insisting, "You're lying Penny. You… you…"

She pushes him away, coldly emphasizing, "I said I'm not interested in you. The only reason why I had sex with you was curiosity; Amy kept babbling about your performance and I wanted a taste. That's all."

"And why did you say you loved me?" he shouts, his face so hot, he thinks he'll explode with indignation.

"I usually say this when someone is fucking me. No big deal. But I do love you, as a friend, of course."

"Penny…" he is panting, barely able to speak, "And what about your visit to my office? The bathroom… You told me you didn't care about social conventions; that you wouldn't waste your feelings…"

"Sheldon, I was thrilled about our affair, but now I've decided that my marriage is more important than a casual fling. Also, you're going to marry my best friend. It was good while it lasted, but we have to move on."

Casual fling. The woman he's desperately in love with just called him a "fling". _Never hit a woman_, his mother taught him, and he can't even picture his hands hurting her; but he'll hit her differently, make her suffer, like she has done to him. "Leonard was right about his intuitions. How many affairs did you have, Penny? I'm certain I'm not the first."

Her impassive face turns to pure resentment and he takes great pleasure seeing her body shaking, "You were my first."

He steps closer to her, "Oh, I doubt that…" he observes her hands turning into fists, "Poor Leonard… married to a whore."

She gulps loudly, closing her eyes briefly and he's already regretting his last words until she sneers, "Poor Leonard indeed… married to a slut who fucks his best friend."

Until this moment, he had never considered what Leonard would feel if he found out about them. The guilty that has been tormenting him raises as he imagines his friend's reaction regarding his betrayal. How could he do that to his closest friend? And for what? For a woman who has smashed his heart into pieces.

"Please get out of my house." he demands, opening the door.

She walks slowly, never facing him and when she is almost in the hall, he grasps her wrist, and requires, "And Penny… Don't ever talk to me unless it's extremely necessary. Otherwise, our interactions will be reduced to polite greetings, like 'good morning', 'good evening' or 'hello'. Goodbye."

He goes back to the bathroom and takes another shower. For some reason, he feels dirtier than before. Outside the apartment, a devastated, but resigned Penny smokes a cigarette, the only thing that can stop her hands for shaking. Her work here is done. She can cry later.

xxx

The room is dark, only a little moonlight coming in through the blinds. He is lying on the sheets, looking at celling, trying to figure out how his usually rational brain will help him to forget her. It has been three hours since she left, but her harsh words keep spinning in his mind, an unstoppable torment that doesn't go away. They were good friends, she always had a place in his heart, and only in a few minutes, she has managed to destroy years of friendship, camaraderie… love. "I will never fall in love again," he whispers to himself, wiping his persistent tears. From now on, he'll be back to the stoic, indifferent, reserved Sheldon everybody is used to. A Sheldon who never suffers because of tempting blondes with sweet smelling hair and strong, precise hands. And maybe someday, Leonard will forgive him. He has to. Suddenly, the door opens and an unwelcome light floods the room.

"Sheldon? Why all the lights are off? Are you having a migraine?" Amy asks while sitting beside him. His arms encircle her waist and he lays her on the bed, hovering over her body, nibbling her neck, unbuttoning her cardigan swiftly. "Oh… She-Sheldon… I didn't take a shower…" she moans as he drags her skirt and panties down her legs.

"I don't care…" he groans, unfastening his robe while she takes off her blouse and bra. "I want you." He slides his hand down her hips, finds her clit and rubs it up and down with smooth, firm strokes, then inserts one finger inside her, noticing she's ready for him. "Turn over, Amy." She immediately obliges, getting on all fours as he kneels behind her, thrusting into her roughly and she lets out a delighted gasp, "Yes! More…" He plunges into her without mercy, leaning on her back, grabbing her bouncing breasts for several minutes until he grunts in her hear, "I'm close…" She begs, clutching at the sheets, "Just a few… I'm almost there…" He closes his eyes in an attempt to delay his orgasm, but when the image of a sweaty Penny riding him appears in his mind, he comes instantly and has to bite his lip to not scream _her_ name. He glances down and sees a flushed Amy rocking back and forth on his softening penis, seeking for her own release. Pulling out of her, he positions her on her back and places his head between her legs, sucking on her clit hard, with meaning, just the way he knows she likes. "Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…" she sighs with relief, caressing his head.

They lie side by side, regaining their breaths, his thoughts far away. Yes, maybe things will work out between Amy and him; she will be a good wife and he will treat her well as she deserves. Those last weeks will be ignored so as the pain he carries right now. Amy snuggles closer to him, stroking his hair and glances at him, "This was wonderful, Sheldon… But why are you so quiet?"

He exhales loudly, eyeing her with remorse, "I was imagining our future."

She sits against the headboard, her face apprehensive, "What about our future?"

Perhaps is the dopamine rushing through his body or the illogical instinct of retaliation blinding his judgment that makes him suggest, "Why don't we get married in Las Vegas? Right now?"

"What? Why? And how about our wedding plans? Everything is almost set." Amy asks and get out of the bed.

"We still can have the celebration, the party, whatever…" he stands up, and hold her hands, "But I want you to be my wife, Amy. Now."

She grins, still surprised by his proposal, "But what about our jobs? It's a long trip and…"

"We can call in sick. If we leave right now, we can get there by midnight…" he traces a finger on her lips, "We'll be back tomorrow… What do you say?"

"Yes!" She kisses him, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carries her to the shower.

Six hours late, she is grunting in his ear for the second time since they got in The Cosmopolitan Hotel. He caresses her head as the glint of his wedding ring contrasts with her brown hair, giving him a feeling of accomplishment and at the same time, melancholy. After their orgasms, she sleeps exhausted and satisfied in his arms while he stares at the white wall, praying for a deity whose existence he doubts: make me hate _her_; erase _her_ for my mind; and above it all, forgive _us_.

xxx

"Hi Penny." Leonard kisses her as she turns on the microwave.

"Hi…" she greets back, still miserable about yesterday. Break up with Sheldon was probably the best acting work of her life; and hearing him call her a whore was the cherry on top of that horrible afternoon. But what is done, is done.

"How was work?" he asks, picking a plate from the cabinet.

"It was okay… table reading… How was yours?"

"Normal, except for one thing: Sheldon didn't show up. He called in sick this morning. Weird…" he starts to eat his lasagna, "He didn't call me or anything…"

She frowns and adds, "I also called Amy five times, texted her, but her phone is on voicemail…."

They share worried looks, and she ventures, "What about Raj and Howard? Did they talk to him?"

"No… Howard even sent him a message on Facebook and he has not responded…"

Oh God, what she has done to him? "Leonard, why don't we go to Amy's place?"

He nods, "Ok… Let me finish my dinner and we can go." She taps her fingers on the table, silently hurrying him up.

_(Leonard, Leonard, Leonard)_

She jumps at the sound of his voice while her husband makes a face, but walks to the door and opens it. "Sheldon, were…"

"We've got married!" Amy enters the living room and hugs a stunned Penny. "I'm sorry for not invite you, but Sheldon and I went to Vegas yesterday and we did it!" she exclaims, showing her ring to Penny.

"Congratulations, buddy!" Leonard pats Sheldon's shoulder, "But what about October 25?"

"Oh, we're still up for that…" he looks at Penny defiantly, "We eloped because it was right for us; it is good to be spontaneous, to do something in the heat of the moment."

She was expecting revenge, but this is too much. Her mouth stays open for long seconds until she stammers, "T-that's good for you… I… I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me."

Once inside, she closes the lid of the toilet and sits down, calming herself, breathing slowly. Amy will surely knock on the door any minute to tell her the details of their "special night". She is going to hear every single thing and smile excitedly, asking for more. It'll be her self-punishment; a whore deserves that.

It's almost ten when the newlyweds decide to go home and she is more than relieved: she can't handle his ironic stares, Amy's euphoria and the way her heart aches every time she glances at his third finger. Once again, Amy hugs her, whispering she'll tell her the dirty stuff later and Sheldon shakes her hand, coldly leering at her, "Good night, Penny. Sleep well."

"Good night, Sheldon. Congratulations," she replies, and for a second, she identifies a deep sadness in those blue eyes, something she is surely responsible for. If this was a perfect world, she would hold him tight and explain she was lying; that she loves him so much, she could run away with him and never look back. Instead, she just watches him walk down the stairs, his fingers entwined with Amy's, a small grin on his lips. A grin of victory, a victory over her.


	9. Unstoppable

_"__This is our last goodbye _

_I hate to feel the love between us die, but it's over _

_Just hear this and then I'll go _

_You gave me more to live for, more than you'll ever know." Jeff Buckley, Last Goodbye_

* * *

He's walking up the stairs of his old building slowly, hesitant about knocking on the 4A door. Leonard insisted they should meet there to go to a book signing session of the new book by Daniel Winter, a famous anthropologist. The chance of seeing her again makes his palms sweaty and his heart beat faster. Since he got married, they've never spoke again; both silently avoiding a new encounter: she refused to come to Naomi's first month birthday, saying she had to re-do some scenes at work; he didn't show up at the latest game night, due a "terrible headache". Please don't be at home, he quietly hopes.

After the three knocks, a barely clothed Penny opens the door. He almost gasps at her only in a white sports bra and tiny, tight green shorts. "Good evening, Penny. W-where is Leonard?"

She adjusts her ponytail, her eyes somewhat disconcert, "He had a problem or something at the lab, but he should be here soon."

"Okay, I'll be waiting outside then."

"Sheldon, wait," she stops him, "You can sit here on the couch, there's no reason for you to be outside."

Oh, there is. He still doesn't trust himself around her; he wants to kiss and fight with her at the same time. Therefore, he replies, "I'll be more comfortable waiting for him in the lobby."

"Whatever…" she fumes, "Suit yourself; I'm going back to the treadmill." She goes to his former room and leaves him standing there, not knowing what to do. He sits on his old spot eventually, looking at the hall, some part of him wishing to hold her. He sighs, noticing his efforts to loathe her are failing miserably. A few minutes later, he has to go to the bathroom and walks with small steps, not wanting to disturb her, but can't help but peek at the slightly open door and what he sees breaks his heart a little more. She is crouched on the floor, small sobs rocking her body, her face red and eyes puffy. His first instinct is to run and put his arms around her, but he stays still, just witnessing her pain, maybe the same pain he has been experiencing in the last weeks. But why is she crying? She said she didn't love him, that they only had a casual fling. Perhaps… perhaps she lied to him in order to maintain the peace in their circle of friends. When is about to enter the room, he hears the click on the front door and immediately gets into the bathroom. He leans his head on the wall, trying to discern the words from outside.

_"__Penny? What's wrong?"_

_"__Nothing… It's that time of the month… You know how I get… Where's Sheldon?"_

_"__Huh? Is Sheldon in here?"_

_"__Yes, he said-"_

He steps out of the bathroom and explains, "I had to urinate. We should go now, Leonard; I don't want to wait in line for hours."

The short man snorts, "Fine, let me change my clothes."

He stares at her, noticing how she wipes her face and smiles at him, "See? He's here already." She passes him, but he touches her arm, and she turns to him fully, "Yes?"

His mouth touches her ear as he whispers, "You were lying…" she retracts, but their faces are still close when he finishes, "You're my unstoppable force paradox. As I am yours."

xxx

Amy leaves the dressing room and looks at herself in the mirror before puts on her tiara. "So… What do you think?"

Penny gapes at her, no words fleeing from her mouth. She is absolutely beautiful. It's a Grace Kelly inspired wedding dress, which accentuates her curves and makes her look like an actual princess. "Amy… Oh, my God! It's perfect!" she marvels and hugs her.

"I know!" Amy cheers and asks, "But don't you think is too white?"

"No! This is the one, Amy. I can feel it."

"Me too… Okay, I'll take it!" she agrees as the saleswoman heads them to another room, while Penny sits on the armchair, looking at her phone. Those words seem glued to her brain since last week. Unstoppable force. That's exactly what she feels; this craving obsession every time she thinks about him. But this is wrong, so wrong, she cries almost every day of guilty and remorse. Her fingers are faster than her thoughts as she sends him a text: _"I want to clear things up."_ She stares at the screen and his reply is fast: _"So am I. Amy will sleep at her mother's tonight. We can talk in our apartment." _She bites her lip, wondering about all the possibilities of the evening. Bad, bad, Penny. _"I'll be there at 8."_

Amy is dressed in her usual clothes when she returns, "They'll have to make some minor adjustments on the dress, but they won't be that much. I can get it next week."

"That's great, Ames…" they walk out of the bridal shop, "I'm starving! Let's have lunch?"

"No, I can't; I have to go back to the lab… But thanks again for coming here with me. You're the best bridesmaid ever!"

The brunette kisses her cheek and she does the same. Oh Amy, you deserve a better bridesmaid, a better friend. And I'll be, she promises to herself.

xxx

"Hello Penny, please come in," he gestures for her to sit on the couch. Placing himself beside her, he can smell the scent that makes him insane, her smell. She glances at him then back at her hands; licking her lips, she starts, "So… How was your day?"

"Penny, I don't like jibber jabber," he rants, "You said you want to clear things up. Please, stop stalling and tell me what is in your mind."

"Okay… I… I don't want you to hate me..." she quakes, rubbing her palms together, "For something that isn't true… I lied to you in that Sunday because I was scared…"

"Scared of being caught?"

"Not just that… See, after my talk with Raj, I realized things would always be difficult between us. I'm married to your best friend and now…" she looks down, her voice cracking, "You're also married… It's a dead end. So, in my stupid little brain, I formulated that plan…"

He sighs, aware that she's right, "You're not stupid. But you should have told me the truth."

"Yeah, I know… I'm sorry for the harsh things I said to you."

He nods, adding, "I apologize for calling you a… whore. I was angry and sometimes I have a bad temper…"

They both smile, a comfortable silence filling the room. At some point, Penny ventures, "Is that why you married her?"

"Yes and no," she turns to him, eyes intrigued, "I was going to marry her anyway; your words were just the catalyst. I have no regrets about it." He notices her face turning darker and holds her hand, "I also don't regret what we shared."

"Me too…" she caresses his thumb, "I hadn't been that happy in years. It's like they say - the forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest."

So sweet, he muses. She was his neighbor and friend for years; why didn't they fall in love before? Before Leonard, Amy, engagements, marriages… guilty. Sheldor would conquer the Queen Penelope and together they would make a family, a home. "Penny?"

"Yes?"

"If I had expressed my feelings for you on the day we met, what would you do?"

"I would have said 'yes'," she bluntly replies.

He closes his eyes briefly, imagining a different beginning for them. An involuntary grin tilts one side of his mouth, "I should have asked you out first."

She mirrors his expression, "You should. I've always thought you were the cute one. A bit annoying, but still handsome."

He chuckles, "As if you don't have your own flaws, Mrs. PMS!"

"Hey!" she pokes his arm, "It's not my fault!"

They laugh like they used to a long time ago, when the world was easier, lighter. He faces her again, and she has one eyebrow lifted, "Where would you take me on a first date?"

Dangerous lines, here we meet again. "In the past or nowadays?"

She leans closer to him, "Nowadays… hypothetically, of course… If we were single."

He gulps, curious about where this is going, "I would take you out for dinner… In a discreet restaurant, since you're a star now…" she rolls her eyes, "Somewhere near the ocean… I know you like the sound of the waves touching the shore…"

"I do…" she whispers, playing with her wedding ring, "It's soothing… Then what?"

"Maybe we would take a walk on the beach, observe the stars… I would name the constellations… and you would get bored." He finishes with a gloomy smile.

"No, you're wrong… I love when you talk about science…" she assures him, touching his forearm, "You get so excited, so… passionate. I enjoy that."

He is breathing hard, the warmth of her fingers on his skin mesmerizing him. "T-then I would take you home… and kiss you goodnight."

"And I would ask if you wanted a cup of coffee…"

"But I would thank you and decline your offer…" he squeezes her hand, "Because I'm a gentleman."

She pouts at him, "So, it would be just a kiss?"

"Of course, Penny: first dates should be short and creative… To be left wanting more…"

"Oh, aren't you a tease…" she throws her head back, "But you're right, this would be a hell of a date."

"And the second one?" he opts to continue their fantasy, "It would be up to you."

"Really?" she beams, sitting straight, "You know I can tease too…"

Yes, you do. "So… Second date…"

She smirks, aware of what she's doing to him, to them, "I would invite you to my apartment to watch a movie… You would wait until I got ready in the living room, but I would leave the door ajar while putting my clothes on…"

He bites his bottom lip to swallow a moan. "Soup."

"What?"

"The Chinese character on your right buttock…" he murmurs, staring at her with wild eyes, "I would see it…"

They're almost nose to nose, "It's courage."

"No, it is not…" he tilts her chin, her tongue moisturizing her lips, "It is soup."

He can kiss her right now or simply ask for her to go. Both options are possible, and she chooses one. "I should go now. I have to wake up early tomorrow." She stands up quickly, grabs her purse and waits for him to open the door. "Are we okay?"

"Yes…" he unlocks the door, "Thanks for the visit, Penny." He is frustrated, but at the same time glad she took the high road. Maybe she is correct; she has courage.

Before she leaves, he gets a peck on his mouth and a confession in his ear, "I can't wait to hear about the third date. Bye, Sheldon."

Devil, your name is Penelope.

xxx

They are all at the 4A, waiting for Penny's first TV interview (for a big channel), eating their respective meals, while the actress holds Naomi in her arms, softly singing to the baby. It's odd to think that some years ago, he hated her voice. Now he gawks at her like in a trance, allured by the way the small girl smiles at her, clearly enjoying her "performance". A gentle shake on his shoulder brings him back to the living room. "Naomi loves Penny… Isn't she beautiful when she's laughing?" a proud Bernadette asks him.

"Yes… She's beautiful…" he barely speaks, staring at her again. Raj coughs loudly and gives him a disapproving glimpse. They have never talked about his affair, but sometimes he notices how the astrophysicist looks at him disappointedly. Leonard almost screams, "Now people, now!"

Everybody watches as the E! interviewer introduces her guest, _"Now we have here Penny Reeves, who plays the sexy detective Heather Williams on the new hit criminal drama 'L.A. Crime'."_ They chat about the show and trivial matters, like fashion, beauty tips, diets, nothing very interesting. The friends cheer and clap at each question, until the journalist points out, _"You still live in Pasadena, right?"_

_"__Yes."_

_"__Why haven't you moved to L.A. yet?"_

_"__My life is in Pasadena, my friends, my husband… This city has a big meaning to me."_

_"__Tell us about it."_

_"__Well, it was there where I found my first jobs, met the wonderful people around me…" _suddenly she seems shy_, "The man I love."_

Leonard grins and kisses her cheek, but for a second she locks her eyes on his and he has no doubt of who she was talking about.

_"__Bad news for you guys; this lady is taken! I heard he is a scientist, right? How did you two met?"_

_"__Yes, he is a physicist… We used to be neighbors… Then one thing led to another…"_

_"__How adorable is that? And how lucky is he for having a neighbor like you?"_

_"__Believe, I am the lucky one…" _she looks straight at the camera_, "I feel less lonely when I'm with him."_

Her husband kisses her again, now on the mouth, as everyone applauds, well, almost everyone. He just stays there with his jaw clenching, envying his friend. He should be the one kissing her, after all those words were for him, he is sure.

xxx

She's lying on the fancy bed, exhausted. Today was another day of interviews, photo shoots, fake and big smiles at everyone. She loves NY, but since she arrived three days ago, her life is all about the series promotion. Oh, how she misses her home, her bed… him. On the other hand, visit the Big Apple for a week is a good thing for her – in less than fifteen days they'll get married. _Really_ married, with the ceremony and everything. It's good to stay away from the wedding yakking for a while; her heart won't hurt so much this way. She sighs and thinks this is a good time for a nice bubble bath. When she's taking off her clothes, the room phone rings.

_"__Hello?"_

_"__Mrs. Reeves?"_

_"__Yes, this is she."_

_"__There is a friend of yours, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, wishing to see you."_

She believes she's dreaming, a dream the haunts her every night. _"Who?"_

_"__Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper. Should I send him up?"_

_"__Yes."_

She puts on a robe, her thoughts so fast she can't keep up with them, and waits for him in front of the door. After the first "Penny", she opens it, "Hi…"

"Good evening, Penny. May I come in?" he greets her, carrying a small suitcase, appearing to be more nervous than her.

"Sure…" she motions him to enter, "Please, have a seat."

They sit side by side on the small leather sofa, sharing small glances until she can't take it anymore. "Okay. What are you doing here in NY on a Thursday night?"

He contemplates the answer for a while, "I… I want, no, I need some time alone with you."

Despite her surprise, she smiles. "But what did you tell-"

"I've told Amy I had a class to attend. She knows I'm here…" he clasps her hand, "I'm aware of your busy schedule, so I'll be back to Pasadena by tomorrow morning."

"You… you…" she feels like the happiest woman on earth, "Just for tonight?"

"Yes…" he hugs her, speaking directly in her ear, "But we don't have to… We can just talk or be quiet…" she hears a small whimper, "We might not have another opportunity to be alone. Just us…"

She leans back to focus on his face. His eyes are closed, his cheeks slightly damp with tears, his face so disconsolate she just cuddles him, enjoying his warmth, implicitly comforting him, them. Several minutes pass and she decides to lighten up the mood. "Sheldon?"

He wipes the tears, reclining on the cushions, "Yes, Penny?"

"What about the third date?"

He grins, combing his fingers through her long, silky hair, "Well, after the beach, your 'accidental' flashing and the movie, I would ask you to be my girlfriend."

His sweet, almost innocent proposal lowers her guard. She assumed he would spill dirty words, throw her against the wall or maybe run away. With a lump in her throat, she doesn't have the power to explain to him that they'll never be anything more than secret lovers; she simply kisses him, promptly straddling his hips, her hands unfastening her robe as his waste no time in cupping her breasts, massaging them. "Oh… I miss your hands…" she whispers.

"Just my hands?" he smirks before suckling her nipple into his mouth. All she can do is rub herself against his erection harder, earning a soft bite from him. Suddenly, he places her on the sofa and kneels on the floor, lapping at her juices as she moans his name loudly, shutting her eyes. Moments later, she re-opens them and groans at the sight of him stroking himself while flicking her clit with his tongue. "Yes… touch your cock for me… like that… don't stop…" she pleads, not taking her eyes of his fisted hand. He grunts, sucking her nub faster until she convulses and reaches her peak.

"This was…" she breathes hard, observing him undress in a hurry, standing naked in front of her in a few seconds. He grabs her by the waist and pins her against the wall, his dick pulsating, trapped between their bodies. "Bed… bed…" she mumbles into his hair and he lifts her up in his arms, then lay her on the sheets, lingering over her lips and meeting her stare.

"There are no words to express…" he enters her carefully, "How I feel when I'm inside of you…" His thrusts are slow, but deep, allowing her to accommodate his size. "Sheldon… Oh, Sheldon…" she hisses as he gains speed, gazing into her eyes, sharing all their wishes without words. This is too much for her – his tender face, his hands caressing her body, the delicious feel of his length stretching her… "There, right there… Oh, shit!" She clings onto him, squeezing him tight and burying her face into his neck, her orgasm and spasms bringing on his own. "Penny…" he sighs in her ear and she stays in the same position, arms and legs wrapped around him, closing her eyes as they begin to tear up. This would be their third date in a perfect world.

They make love over and over, loving secrets mingled with naughty confessions, until the first rays of the sun stream through the curtains. After taking a shower, he is putting on his shoes, sitting on the edge of the bed, while she kisses his neck, holding him from behind. "Stay…" she bites his earlobe, "Just for a while…"

He turns to her, "I can't, Penny…" a deliberate long, moist kiss, "My flight leaves in one hour… I have to go to the airport."

She nods, patting his hair and he stands up, clearing his throat, "So…"

"This is a goodbye, isn't?"

He looks at the floor and then back at her, "Yes."

She gets out of the bed and hugs him, still naked, "Then goodbye, my love. I hope she gives you what I couldn't."

His grip tightens as he replies, "She won't." Another kiss, the last one. "I love you, Penelope."

When he closes the door, she lies on the bed, his scent still strong around her, and cries. For minutes, hours, she doesn't know exactly. What she does know is that her last shot at real love flew away with a tall, handsome genius. Being the better woman is tough, she concludes.


End file.
